


How could I be sad over something I never had?

by Wintergreen_Tictac



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Bisexual, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Body Dysphoria, Boyfriends, College, Confessions, Crying, Depression, Easter Eggs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Family, Fights, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Forgive Me, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Michael Mell, Gender Dysphoria, Get ready for fluff, Halloween, Happy Ending, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, I promise it's not as bad as it seems, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Im gonna keep tagging until i get all the views, Jealousy, Jeremy Heere Is a Furry, Love, M/M, Michael has two moms, Mutual Pining, Panic, Panic Attacks, Pansexual, Pining, Pining Michael, Please Don't Hate Me, Plot Twists, Post-Squip, Pre-Squip, Sad, Slow Burn, Stuttering, Swearing, Teen Pregnancy, Texting, Trans Character, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Mell, Transphobia, pining Jeremy, squip squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 23,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wintergreen_Tictac/pseuds/Wintergreen_Tictac
Summary: Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell were starting their junior year of high school, and Jeremy was determined to be cool, while all Michael wants to do is survive.The events of Be More Chill... but with my own twist(things that are in parentheses are internal monologue)______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Big thank you to @thesaltydragon and @UnfortunatelySux for helping me edit this story. Go check out their stories :)





	1. Insert Witty Title Heere

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone
> 
> Welcome to my first story.
> 
> I wrote this in a 3 caffeine driven days and edited it for over a month.  
> I have already completed the work... but plan to post a chapter a day.
> 
> WARNING!! i did not put certain tags in the tag section as to not give away the storyline; so, if you are easily triggered, I just wanted to warn you... but you should still read this :)
> 
> I'm super proud of this story. It's the first thing I've written in a long time that I'm actually proud of.
> 
> Anyway... I really hope you like the story... feel free to leave me comments and kudos.

Jeremy and Michael sat in the Mell’s basement continuing their long held tradition of video games and junk food. There was only one day of summer vacation left until junior year began, and they planned on spending every minute of the day together. Summer had been relatively uneventful; lots of sleeping in and video game time for both boys. There had been one change however.

    

Michael had gone with his parents to Florida for a month. Little did Michael know he would actually meet someone. He said his name was Adam and he was a friend of Michael’s cousin. They had spent the whole trip together, but when Michael wanted to continue his newfound relationship long distance, he was met with talk of “summer flings” and left Florida with nothing more than a meaningless goodbye peck.

   

Sure, Michael had been depressed over Adam the first week, but his Player 1 had made sure to get his spirits up with a barrage of memes and quality Jeremy-Michael time, and after a few weeks, he was finally back to being happy charismatic Michael.

   

“I can’t believe we’re actually going to be juniors!” Jeremy exclaimed while grabbing a handful of Doritos from their central snack pile and shoving them in his face.

    

“I know. Like fuck, it feels like only yesterday we were walking into high school for the first time.”

   

“You know what? We should celebrate this glorious occasion with a little ‘high time,’” Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows, darting to the side table where he knew Michael kept his bong.

   

“Um actually, I’m all out of weed right now, sorry bro.” Michael almost never ran out of weed (except that one time when he went a little spend crazy on the newest AOTD merch and only had like $10 left over for the month.)

    

“Hey, if you need, I can buy some for this week?” Jeremy said.

 

Michael looked up from his game, his big brown eyes incredibly clear (mainly because they weren’t glazed over with their usually high.)   

   

“Nah man, it’s cool, let’s just beat this level already” Michael shrugged.

 

The boys picked up their controllers, not wanting to waste another moment of their last day of freedom.


	2. School and Slushies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy St. Patricks day everyone :)

Junior year started off pretty much like any other first day of school; wake up at an ungodly hour, make yourself look somewhat more presentable than any other day, then catch the bus… or walk… or catch the bus??

    

Anyway... Jeremy finally made it to school and sat next to Michael during homeroom, comparing their schedules. They had English together for first period, but didn’t see each other again until lunch time; then they had art together. They went about their individual classes until lunch time. Jeremy sat at the empty table in the cafeteria staring at his tray of straight up mediocrity: a grilled cheese that was nowhere near hot, an apple with a soft bruise in the middle, and a strawberry milk; probably the best part of the meal. (This is proof that I need to start packing a lunch,) Jeremy noted to himself.

    

Suddenly, Michael made an entrance. He had managed to make a trip to the local 7-11 since he had a free period before lunch. He sat down with his signature blue slushie and a red slushie for his Player 2.

   

“Thanks man. You’re a lifesaver.”

 

“No problem Jer-bear,” Michael said as he unpacked his own store bought lunch: a bowl of pasta salad, a king size Snickers, and of course his slushie.

   

“No sushi today?” Jeremy asked.

   

“Um, not today, you should have seen the packages in the fridge; food poisoning just waiting to happen. Plus, pasta sounded really good.” Michael took a bite of his pasta, savoring it, then began his familiar conversation with Jeremy.

   

“So how was class?” (also you look like ass.)

 

Jeremy just stared at the bruise on his apple as if he were going to remember it forever. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to tell Michael just how his day had gone.

 


	3. Physics and Pint-Sized Terrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has homophobic and transphobic comments in it. This is the worst of this trigger in the whole story (it's not too bad but it's still unkind) so if you can tolerate this chapter you should be fine the rest of the story.

3rd period. Physics. What had ever possessed Jeremy to take an advanced science course? He was barely making a C+ in chemistry last year… but yeah, no, a harder class was the way to go.

   

He let out an ungodly long groan, deciding that he needed to calm down before heading to class or else he was sure to do something to embarrass himself. As he entered the bathroom, he was relieved to find it empty. A few deep breaths and a splash of water later, he was finally starting to feel the tension release from his shoulders.

    

That tension shot back through him like a loaded spring when none other than Richard Goranski walked into the bathroom.

 

Rich was unyielding when it came to bullying Jeremy during sophomore year; and odds are he hadn’t had a change of heart over the summer.

   

“Shouldn’t you be in class tall-ass?” Richard practically snarled at him as he walked through the door.

   

Jeremy just stuttered in response.

   

“What’s wrong Jerry? You need your boyfriend to bring you a tampon or something?”

  

“Michael is not my boyfriend, and leave him out of this.” Jeremy hadn’t planned on staying; he was definitely not one to defend himself, but he couldn’t just leave a jab at his best friend unanswered.

   

“Who? I don’t know any Michael at this school. Maybe you’re thinking of _Elizabeth_.” Rich practically sang those last words with the biggest shit eating grin Jeremy had ever seen.

   

Jeremy frowned and made his way toward Rich, ready to give him a piece of his mind, but found himself pinned to the wall after a pitiful attempt at a punch.

   

“Oooh, Jeremy here thinks he’s tough enough to defend his pathetic little tranny boyf.”

 

Jeremy grinned wickedly when he managed to spit right in Rich’s face.

   

“I could beat you senseless right here if I wanted to,” Rich growled as he let Jeremy go. Jeremy just stood frozen, wondering if his attempt to run would be met with a worse outcome. “But I think you might be just the loser I’m looking for.”

   

“Oh yeah? And why is that?” Jeremy said, trying to sound like some sort of tough guy and not the wimpy man-child he felt like.

  

Rich turned around to face Jeremy, “I think it’s time I introduce you to a certain squip.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS!!  
> in celebration of the holiday i decided to release 2 chapters today (also i might be too hungover to post one tomorrow)


	4. Talk of TicTacs

“You mean to tell me that that the asshole who basically tortured you for a year wants you to give him $600 for what’s probably nothing more than a wintergreen tic tac?”

 

Jeremy had ended up telling Michael when they got to his basement, but decided to leave the dead naming and transphobic comments out of the story. Michael had become much more confident over the years, but Jeremy would hate to be the one who caused him dysphoria. Dysphoric Michael was always bad news.

   

“I get what you’re saying, but...what I wouldn’t give to be cool.” Game over flashed on the screen followed by irritated groans from both boys.     

    

“Hey man, you’re cool to me. Plus, we’re gonna be even cooler in college. You’re gonna get your license and a chick magnet car, and I’m gonna get on T. We’re gonna have a killer dorm. It’s gonna be rad, dude, just you wait.”    

    

“What if we went to the mall just to see if that guy even works at the Payless?”

   

“I don’t know, man, you seriously don’t think this is super sketchy?” Michael’s logic was met with pale blue puppy dog eyes.

   

“Pleeaaasssseeeee Michael? I’ll even get you your own thing of chilli fries.”

   

Michael let out a combination of a snort and a laugh, which was a complete mess as far as meaning went (Jeremy loved that laugh.)“Save your chilli fries. I’ll take you to the mall so you can get your overpriced ‘Made in China’ bull crap.”

    

Jeremy muttered under his breath, “He said it’s from Japan?”

   

Michael practically shoved Jeremy out of his bean bag at that comment. “Whatever, come on let’s go.”


	5. Jeremy Heere is a Furry... Change My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to hear from you guys... so comment away

The mall was pretty much the same scene as usual. Jeremy bought some tea from one of those kiosks in the center, seeing as how he was too embarrassed to just tell the salesman no. Michael had dragged Jeremy into Hot Topic when he spotted a fuzzy cat ear headband.

   

“For the last time, I AM NOT A FURRY!” Jeremy practically screamed that last part earning him a humiliating stare from an older woman in the store (probably there with her kid.)

   

Michael pouted and put the ears back, settling on buying a new patch (some cat with three eyes) for his hoodie. As they made their way to the food-court, Jeremy made a direct beeline to Payless. Once they got there, they were greeted by a small cashier lady named Sadie. She seemed very friendly and eagerly asked if they needed help finding anything.

   

“Is Jackson w-working today?” Jeremy managed to stutter out.

   

“Oh, he’s working today, but he took break about half an hour ago. He should be back around 4:00 if you wanted to say hi to him.”

   

They kindly thanked her, looked at a couple pairs of shoes, as to not seem like a couple of weird stalker kids, then proceeded to make their way to the food court. Jeremy walked to their table holding one large tray of chilli fries. He had offered to buy Michael his own, but he said they should save money by just buying a large and sharing.

   

They had barely started devouring their fries when Michael stood up. “Hey, I’ll be right back, man.”

   

“But, Michael, our fries,” Jeremy managed to say without spraying food everywhere.

   

“It’s okay, man, I’ll be quick. I just want to see what Elliot at Spencers has left of his vintage Pepsi haul. It’ll only take like 5 minutes.”

   

Jeremy wasn’t planning on arguing but never got the chance because Michael immediately started walking towards Spencers.

  

________________________Heere is a line to show that time has passed________________________

  

After 10 minutes, Michael came back to the food court to find his table, still full of fries, and a half bottle of Mountain Dew… but no Jeremy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael's new patch is real... here is the link https://www.hottopic.com/product/not-normal-cat-iron-on-patch/10739694.html 
> 
>  
> 
> Leave a comment below as to what is the best time to update the story... and ill try to keep a little bit of consistency.


	6. Books and Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right... since this is such a short chapter... i will make a deal; If we can get up to 225 views today, i will post another chapter.
> 
> Sorry this chapter is quite short... i promise they get longer (that's what she said).

When Michael came back to school, it would be an understatement to say he was worried about Jeremy. It had been almost a week since they had gone to the mall and Jeremy never so much as texted Michael.

 

He walked into English and handed his teacher a stack of late assignments before sitting down. Michael usually found English to be one of his more boring classes, but it was manageable with Jeremy there; however, Jeremy wasn’t sitting with him today.

 

Michael was feeling a lot of things right now, but he never pictured one of those feelings to be lonely _._ The rest of his week pretty much carried out the same as the previous day. It took Michael longer than he’d like to admit to realize that Jeremy was ignoring him, but he still couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t like Jeremy to hold a grudge. He shrugged it off and moved to his next class (It’s not like they could keep this up forever.)

 

By the third week, Michael had pretty much given up on talking to Jeremy in school anymore. The multiple times he had tried to talk to him were never even met with eye contact. Now that he was practically alone, he found himself spending a lot of time in the school’s library. It was quiet, which in most cases was good (Except when that silence is coming from your best friend.)

 

Michael sat in the library, ate his lunch, and finished up the late homework he still hadn’t turned in. He also managed to do a lot of reading while he was alone. Michael was putting back a stack of books he had just finished glancing through when he saw none other than Jeremy and Rich pass by the window of the library. This caused a wave of jealousy to burn in Michael’s chest. It wasn’t until then that Michael’s mind tracked back to the conversation they had had all those weeks ago, about the squip.

 


	7. A Halloween Party's a Bad Excuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> St. Patrick's day fucked me up... i am never drinking again.

Jake’s Halloween party was basically the top prize of high school parties; and while Jeremy had never been to one of Jake’s parties, it was impossible to ignore the rumors throughout the school of what went down.

   

One year while his parents were away, he threw a party in which: someone broke the pool table, took a shit on his dad’s computer, and managed to get the cops called for disturbing the peace and underage drinking; 9 kids got arrested and a legend was born.

   

Jeremy didn’t consider himself the crazy party type, but he found it a little easier with his new girlfriend Brooke and his personal Keanu Reeves to help him through it. It took almost all of Jeremy’s free will to not leave the party the second he walked in. It was entirely too loud and there were way too many people in such a small space. His squip had encouraged him to have a beer or two, to ‘take the edge off,’ but 4 beers in and his anxiety had only heightened. Chloe making out with him in Jake’s parents room was enough to send Jeremy over the edge.

   

It was all too much at once. As graciously as his drunk ass could, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. It took a couple minutes to calm the panic flowing through his veins.

   

As he stared at himself in the mirror, his squip re-appeared behind him.

   

“Jeremy, in order for you to become popular, it is imperative that you rise in social standing, and there is a… 92% chance of that happening if you are dating the hottest girl in the school.”

   

“What does that even matter? I don’t even want Chloe, or Brooke. I want Christine,” Jeremy seethed.

   

“But ******ine *****ge******opula***rate f****,” and just as quickly as it had appeared, his squip vanished into a static blur.

  

Jeremy took a shaky breath; relieved the squip was off, and opened the door to leave, deciding that partying was not his scene. What he wasn’t expecting was to be pushed back into the bathroom by Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone enjoying the story so far... let me know (i live off of compliments)


	8. Loser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end for an announcement

“Michael? What are you doing here?” Jeremy slurred as he was pushed back into the bathroom, Michael shutting the door behind him.

   

“We’re gonna talk, and ACTUALLY talk, not just me trying to tell you something and you ignoring me.”

  

“Ignoring you? What are you talking about?” Jeremy seriously didn’t have a clue, and the beer seeping into his liver was only confusing the situation even more.

   

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, trying to give Jeremy the benefit of the doubt that maybe he was just too drunk to remember what was going on.

   

“Ever since you got that squip you’ve been acting shady, and I think that thing is bad news bro. I even found this one guy who ended up going crazy trying to get it out. They locked him up, man, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

   

Jeremy stood up straight, “I don’t know why you’d even think I wanted to get rid of it, and you’re pretty blind to if you don’t think I haven’t noticed what’s going on with you.”

 

Michael froze, trying to keep his composure.

   

“You’re just jealous that I have a squip and you don’t.” Jeremy’s face took a strange shift, becoming somehow harder; more sharp.

  

Michael lifted his arms in annoyance, “You know what? I don’t need this right now. Go have fun with your new asshole friends.”

 

The two boys just stood glaring at each other, neither one wanting to be the one to back down.

   

“I will once you get out of my way, loser _._ ”

   

Michael’s hard exterior shattered at those words and he slowly step aside of the door, allowing Jeremy to walk out, slamming the door behind him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right... so here is the deal.  
> I totally plan on keeping up with the once a day posting things.  
> However, I will not post chapter nine until we have at LEAST 300 views on this story.
> 
> If it happens today then i will post the story tomorrow. If not, i will wait till it hits 300
> 
> I have been posting this story to tumblr threads nonstop over the last 2 days and am just not seeing a significant view count (yesterday's chapter only had like 15 views.)
> 
> So thank you to the readers who have kept reading. I encourage you to share this story if you enjoy it so far... keep reading, i promise big things are coming in the next few chapters.


	9. Michael in the Bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all... we officially hit 300 views and I'm so happy. Please enjoy this chapter and look at the notes below.

(Loser.) Those words rang through Michael’s head like the blaring of an alarm clock. After 12 years of being best friends, was that all Jeremy saw him as anymore?

   

Jeremy and Michael had been through so much together; he always figured they were going to be together forever. Even if his own feelings for Jeremy were never reciprocated, he’d at least still have his best friend. He could feel his breathing becoming unstable.

  

(Breathe Michael, you have to breathe.)

  

He took a large breath before choking on the air. He began uncontrollably coughing (well that got him nowhere _.)_ He could feel hot tears streaming down his face as his chest heaved for air. Time to try a new tactic that had worked before to calm his anxiety.

                                                                                         

(Okay, count 5 things you can see) … The bathtub, empty solo cups in the trashcan, a tray of assorted bath bombs, the door Jeremy had slammed in his face, and some hand towels.

(Okay, good. Now count 4 things you can feel _.)_ Panic, fear, hatred _(_ No, not _feelings_ , physical feels.) Um… the hand towels again, which were soft, the cold porcelain toilet lid he’s sitting on, his creeps sweater, which was a little itchy but not unbearable, and his heartbeat which was starting to slow to an acceptable rate.

  

(Now 3 things you can hear.) Just as he thought this to himself, Michael heard some drunk girl outside the door shrieking, “I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY!”

   

“That’s one,” he chuckled to himself. (Okay, his voice was two… and the music could be number three.)

(Two things you can smell.) Michael took in a big breath of air, immediately regretting it as the smell of cheap beer filled his nostrils. He covered his mouth, someone had probably spilled their drink on the ground in here. Looking around to find something a little more pleasant smelling, he picked up one of the purple bath bombs from the tray. (Lavender;) he’d have to remember that for later because the smell was actually really pleasant (Who knew Jake Dillenger was into baths?)

   

(One thing you can taste.) Michael really didn’t have anything to taste as he was in a bathroom (Bath bombs probably don’t taste as good as they smell,) so he just thought back to the last thing he ate, (a strawberry pop tart.)

 

(Alright. You did it, Michael, you calmed down from a panic attack, good job.)  Michael sat on the toilet lid feeling himself calm down, grateful that this mess was over, for now at least. He stood up, deciding to wash the tear stains off his face before leaving. Standing in front of the vanity, Michael waited for the water to get hot enough when he felt a pang in his stomach.

   

He finished scrubbing his face and put on his glasses when he felt the pain again, this time significantly more painful than the last. Michael froze. His face went ghostly white as he looked down to see a blood drop on the floor.

   

Another wave of pain washed through him, causing him to gasp as he gripped at the countertop. This couldn’t be happening. He placed a tentative hand to his stomach. Was something wrong with the baby?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND WE HAVE A TWIST!!
> 
> who saw it coming??
> 
> who was blindsided??
> 
> what do you think?? Leave a comment below... how do you feel about this. 
> 
> Sorry to leave you all on a cliffhanger. Will post another chapter tomorrow.


	10. Everybody's Got a Cousin Who Can Hook Them Up With Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all... we jumped from 300 views to 350 really quick. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> NOTE: because i am working 2 days in a row... tomorrows chapter may be posted REALLY late in the day (almost midnight) so I'm sorry about that.

_*Three months earlier*_

 

Michael wasn’t exactly excited to go to Florida. It was humid all the time, which meant Michael was dying in his hoodie, but he refused to take it off because it hid his body well. He dreaded having to be here for a whole month. Sure, he liked his extended family, but he’d much rather spend his summer at home or with Jeremy. Then he met Adam.

   

Adam was a freshman at University of Central Florida and knew one of Michael’s older cousins. They met when Michael and his cousin decided to take a walk down Main Street and saw Adam looking through a bin of shirts in one of the stores.

   

Adam was a cool guy (he was no Jeremy, but still.) He was wearing a green t-shirt and jeans. He had small gauges in his ears and his blonde hair was about ear length but styled up so that he looked significantly taller than Michael. Michael’s cousin had introduced them and gone to look at sunglasses in the corner of the store.

   

It turned out that Michael and Adam had quite a bit in common. Michael wanted to go to college for computer animation, and Adam was in college for graphic design. Both liked video games and were relatively close to their families. Michael’s cousin came back and asked if Michael was ready to head out. His cousin was planning on taking him to the towns cinema center. They said their goodbyes when Adam tapped Michael on the shoulder; slipping a piece of paper in his hand.

   

“We should hang out sometime.” Adam smiled, making the shorter boy blush.

  

Michael slipped the number into his pocket before running to catch up with his cousin. And just like that, Michael had a date.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments about what you think so far. (i am a thirsty bish who lives off of comments and kudos)


	11. Touched For the Very First Time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 400 views WHAT THE FUCK holy shit everyone thank you so much for all the support. I took a little extra time to make this one longer. I just got out of work a couple hours ago and wanted to get this posted before i go to bed.

Michael and Adam hung out together almost every day over the next week. Michael’s cousin took him to lots of the fun tourist attractions and insisted they invite Adam. By the beginning of his second week in Florida, Michael and Adam mainly hung out at Adam’s dorm. They played lots of video games and watched a ton of movies.

   

Michael was really starting to enjoy his time here. They sat on Adam’s futon, finishing a round of Halo when Michael paused the round and put his controller down.

  

“I’m gonna get a drink, you want anything?”

  

Adam leaned over, sprawling his arm over Michael’s shoulder, planting a kiss on the corner of his lips. “I’m good, just hurry back.”

  

Michael blushed as he floated into the kitchen. Michael was most certainly not looking for romance in Florida of all places, but life has a funny way of giving you things when you least expect it. This casual encounter was getting slightly more serious with pet names and passionate make out sessions. Michael came back with his glass and sat down when Adam placed a hand on his thigh.         

   

“There’s actually something else I thought we could do.”

  

“A different game?” Michael said, oblivious as ever.

   

“I want to fuck you Michael,” Adam said wickedly, causing Michael to choke on his drink.

 

Once Michael finished almost dying, Adam continued, “Look, we obviously like each other, and I haven’t gotten laid since senior year. I could really use this, babe.”

   

Michael stared into Adam’s eyes. He wasn’t entirely sure about going this fast, but he felt something with Adam.

   

“Alright, as long as you promise to go slow; I’m still a -a virgin.” Michael blushed and rested his head on Adam’s chest.

  

That statement sent Adam into a flurry of sloppy kisses pressed against Michaels neck. “Yeah course, slow, I promise.”

 

And with that, Adam led Michael to the bed.

   

“Do you have a condom?” Michael asked sitting on Adam’s bed.

   

“Yeah, yeah, yeah got it,” Adam replied taking his shirt off and making his way to the bed.

 

(Oh no he’s hot!) Michael thought to himself as his eyes took in all there was to see.

    

Michael took a deep breath, not really believing this was actually happening. “Alright. I’m ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I work tomorrow... so the story will be going up late, but once Sunday is over i will get back to a normal posting time.


	12. All Good Things Must Come To an End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so change of plans... 
> 
> so I got out of work early, so this is Sunday's chapter.
> 
> Monday's chapter will be posted tomorrow roughly the same time as this one.
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me

Michael wasn’t one to fall in love quickly. Heck, he had only ever really loved one person before. But now, lying in bed with Adam, watching him sleep after another amazing night… he could honestly say he could love Adam.

   

It sucked that he had to leave today. His month in Florida was officially over; but he figured he would be back for Christmas, and Adam could come to New Jersey to visit during fall break. They could find a way to make this work. Suddenly, Adam stirred on top of Michael.

   

“Morning sleepy head,” Michael sang to him.  

   

“Morning,” Adam said, still groggy.

   

“I can’t believe I have to go home today,” Michael pouted.

   

Adam hummed in response, pushing himself off the bed to grab a shirt and go to the bathroom. Michael stood up, looking around the room for his boxers, finally finding them. He sauntered into the bathroom wrapping his arms around Adam’s waist.

  

“So I was thinking of things we could do when you come to visit, and thought of the gre-” Michael was cut off by Adam turning around in his arms.

   

“Michael? I’m not going to New Jersey.”

   

Michael looked up at him, confused. “Well why wouldn’t you? I want you to meet my family, and Jeremy, then I could come back for Christmas and meet your family.”

   

Adam just sighed at that statement. “Look Michael, I’m not really looking for a relationship right now. It was nice to spend time with you… but this was just a casual fling… nothing serious. I mean, I knew you were going home soon anyways.”

   

Michael took a step back, letting go of Adam’s sides. “Oh.”

  

“Look, I’m sorry if it meant more to you, but I was just looking for a good time, no strings attached.”

   

Michael’s eyes stung at those last words (a good time.) “Um, I have to go, my moms are gonna want me to start packing soon.”

  

“Michael, I-” Adam started, but Michael was already leaving through the front door, slamming it in his heated exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry... i just keep hurting my cinnamon roll.
> 
> How was everyones weekend


	13. Not All Problems Can Be Fixed With Ice-cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ill post notes later... I'm too tired to do it now
> 
> Alright, so i finally woke up so here are some notes.
> 
> I go back to a normal(ish) work schedule again so expect updates in between 5-12 Eastern standard time.

On his first day back home, Michael just sat in his room with a pint of mint chip ice-cream and a box of tissues. He cried as he swallowed more and more of the minty goodness. Jeremy had texted him the second he got home, asking if he wanted to hang out, but all Michael could manage was a short text.

 

**Michael - “Maybe tomorrow.”**

  

After a week in his room he had run out of ice creams, and tissues, so he figured he might as well do something; he texted Jeremy.

  

**Michael - “Hey, can I come over?”**

**Jeremy - “Of course man, door’s unlocked. I’m in my room.”**

Michael opened Jeremy’s door to find him in his beanbag chair playing an old version of Sonic the Hedgehog.

 

Michael stared at the boy before him. He had not changed a bit since he left, still the same old Jeremy. He was so focused on the game, his tongue poked out from between his lips (He is just too cute to function.)

  

“Hey,” he managed to get out.

 

“Michael, you look like shit. What happened?” Jeremy said as he jumped up from his place on the floor.

   

Michael didn’t feel like doing this now, but he wasn’t going to lie to Jeremy. “Remember that guy from Florida I told you about, Adam? Well, we sort of had a falling out.”

   

“He broke up with you!?”

   

“Well, no, I guess it’s not technically a break up since he doesn’t even think we were dating.” Michael bitterly remarked. He sniffled, trying to keep tears from falling. How had he not dried up his cry supply already? He was doing his best to keep it all together until he felt himself being pulled into an embrace.

  

“I’m so sorry, Michael.” Jeremy said as he hugged the shorter boy.

  

At that, Michael lost it and started sobbing into Jeremy’s chest. He wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist and dove his face into his shirt. This went on for a good 20 minutes, eventually leading to both boys in a single bean bag chair, Jeremy rubbing circles into the small of Michael’s back and Michael making small sniffles until he had fallen asleep. He woke up a couple hours later to Jeremy unloading a huge basket of chips, sodas, and blankets… lots and lots of blankets.

   

“What’s all this?” Michael asked still feeling sleep weighing him down.

   

“Well I’m obviously not gonna let you go home now, I figured we could have a movie marathon, or we can do something else if you want to… whatever you want.”

   

Michael smiled weakly at the gesture (God Jeremy was so thoughtful.) “Actually, a movie sounds great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed me comments


	14. All Problems Might Be Solved With Pasta Though

It was the last day before school started and Michael was finally starting to feel better, albeit really tired still, but that was probably just from crying for nearly two weeks straight. The last few days had been what Jeremy had trademark as “Michael support week.”

   

They had done nothing but play video games, drive to 7/11 to restock on drinks and snacks, and one day they had taken a walk to Walmart because Michael completely forgot that school was a thing and had literally no school supplies. Junior year started tomorrow, and while he wasn’t exactly excited for another shitty year of high school, it was one step closer to college.

   

Jeremy wanted to celebrate the end of summer by getting stoned in Michael’s basement, which was a common occurrence, except Michael was all out of weed; plus, he didn’t really feel like smoking lately, so they settled on playing their game.

  

Michael woke up the next morning and began his routine; put on his binder, some clean clothes, and his hoodie, slick back his hair. He grabbed a granola bar and kissed his mothers goodbye before heading to his car. School wasn’t the worst thing Michael could think of… but that didn’t mean he liked it. He was a solid B - C student who could probably make better grades if he really tried.

   

He flopped down next to Jeremy in homeroom to compare schedules. He had homeroom, then English, math, a free period, lunch, art, history, science, another free period, and robotics. English seemed to drag on forever. Jeremy had to keep nudging Michael to keep him awake. He actually fell asleep in Math, but only for a few minutes before being jolted awake by the bell. Thank god 3rd period he had no class.

  

He ended up going to his car and taking a 30-minute power nap in the back seat. He slept the night before, so he was surprised that he napped for that long, but at least he felt a little better afterward. Once he woke up he decided to head to 7/11 to get lunch (and probably a slushie for Jeremy.) Michael got to 7/11 and looked at all the prepackaged foods. He glanced over the sushi but decided that sushi didn’t look appealing to him today.

   

What he really wanted more than anything was carbs, so he browsed the aisle until his eyes locked on the most beautiful pasta salad he had ever seen; it was farfalle with pesto and cut up tomatoes and feta. Michael he picked up the container and examined it closely.

   

He was never usually a pesto person, but it just looked so good. He clutched it to his chest like he might die if he couldn’t have it. Michael stood there for a minute. He grabbed slushies and a couple other things before going back to school to eat lunch with his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are people starting to connect the dots... do you see small clues i left from previous chapters...let me know in the comments


	15. The Art of Persuasion

Lunch came and went and soon enough the boys were sitting in art class. Jeremy wasn’t super keen on taking art, but wanted to have at least one more class with Michael, so he would just accept the easy A. Mr. Howard walked into the art room, and instructed the class that today was just a free day and all they had to do was draw something. Michael did a super cool pencil sketch of a Pacman silhouette filled in with other video game icons. Jeremy gazed at the drawing; Michael was really talented. Michael looked over at Jeremy’s drawing. He had simply drawn a bunch of cartoon style red and blue pills. Michael gave him a curious look, but both shrugged it off and went back to drawing.

 

After school, the boys went back to Jeremy’s house to do some of the homework from English. They worked for about five minutes before they gave up and played some video games. Jeremy had briefly discussed his encounter with Rich and the whole “pill that makes you cool” concept with Michael, who was, to say the least, a little apprehensive. Jeremy was on this kick again about being popular, but Michael never really cared about being cool to others. Plus, he was thinking about other things.

   

“What if we went to the mall just to see if his story checks out?”

   

This comment jolted Michael out of his earlier thoughts. He picked up his controller from where he had set it earlier.

   

“You don’t think it’s super weird that some guy at Payless is gonna sell you pills?” Michael’s point was met with a sickening sweet puppy dog pout from Jeremy. Michael would never admit to Jeremy how much he loved this face.

   

“All right, I’ll take you… but I get to pick the music.”

  

Jeremy stood up pulling Michael up clumsily from his bean bag. “Deal!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like shit (I'm sick).
> 
> Make me feel better please :)


	16. The Nose Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man i'm really bad at coming up with chapter titles haha; anyways, enjoy the chapter... the plot is finally advancing more.

Michael hated the mall; always had. He hated being stared at when he shopped in the men’s sections. He’d rather just buy all his stuff online. He did manage to find a cool patch for his hoodie at Hottopic before they walked to Payless. Of course when they got there, the guy they were looking for wouldn’t be back for like another 15 minutes, so they went to the food court.

   

The cornucopia of smells didn’t sit well with Michael, so he just sat at a table and fiddled with his phone to take his mind off of it while Jeremy went and got food. Michael wasn’t really feeling too great so he convinced Jeremy to only get one order of fries… maybe he’d feel like eating a few once he saw them. Jeremy came back and set down the Mount Everest of chilli fries. The smell only made Michael’s stomach churn more.

   

He started to breathe through his mouth, feeling the overflow of saliva in the back of his throat. He might have been able to breathe through it until the feeling went away, but watching Jeremy shove a fistful of fries in his mouth was too much. He rose to his feet and made up so lame excuse about Spencers and soda so he could get out of there as quickly as possible.

   

Once he was out of Jeremy’s sight, he booked it to the nearest restroom. He swung open the door to the bathroom just in time to collapse in front of the toilet and vomit up all his beautiful pasta. It just wouldn’t stop coming. He gaged as his stomach wretched, his body in a cold sweat, and his eyes over flowing with tears. After about 6 minutes he had settled against the wall trying to control the dry heaves. Where the hell had that come from? Michael almost never threw up, and he hadn’t thrown up since 5th grade when he accidentally drank eggnog at a family Christmas party.

   

Then that thought from earlier came rushing back into his head. He had to get home, but he couldn’t leave Jeremy at the mall without a ride. Michael stood from his spot on the bathroom floor, grabbing at the back of the toilet to stabilize his spinning vision. He splashed some cool water on his face and rinsed out his mouth in the sink before making his way back to the food court, but when he got there, Jeremy was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still sick.


	17. Tests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the universe is trying to take me out right now.

Michael peeled into the driveway. His mind hadn’t stop racing since the mall. He was worried about Jeremy and whether or not he had gotten a ride home, but he shook that thought from his mind as he unlocked the front door. He had bigger problems right now.

   

He bounded up the stairs to his room and grabbed his backpack. Chucking it on the bed, he searched for the 7/11 bag, finding it and dumping the contents out. There was a package of Starbursts, a scratch off ticket, and a pregnancy test… (Fuck.)

   

This was not how Michael had expected his day to go. He rushed into his bathroom locking the door behind him. He tore the box open and read the directions because fuck _,_ man, he didn’t know how this was supposed to work. He completed steps 1-3 and step 4 just said it take approximately 3 minutes for the results to show, one line is negative, two lines is positive… (Fuck Fuck Fuck.) He thought back to all the times back in Florida that they had done it, there was no way this was happening, they had used condoms all those times… right?

   

BEEP!

  

Michael jumped as his timer on his phone went off. He slammed the silence button and walked back to the counter. He took a shaky breath as he prepared to turn over the test, the test that would change everything… or not… yeah probably not, he was probably just worrying over nothing. People throw up all the time, he must just have a stomach bug.

   

He flipped the test over and was met with the pink lines glowing like neon signs in his eyes. “FUCK!” he said as he threw the test across the room, sliding down the wall hugging his knees. This couldn’t be happening; this had to be some sort of sick joke.

   

He rocked himself back and forth when one of his moms knocked on the bathroom door.

   

“Is everything alright sweetheart?”

   

“Yeah mom I’ll be out in a minute.” Michael stood up, reluctantly grabbing the test and shoving it into his back pocket and going to walk out the door.

  

“Are you feeling well honey? You look like you might throw up.”

 

Michael cringed at those words. He had always been super close with his moms, so keeping this a secret was never going to be an option. What he didn’t expect was to immediately fall into his mother’s arms sobbing into her sweater.

   

“Oh my God, mom, I felt like shit this morning, and it just kept getting worse and then I threw up at the mall and I got scared so I came home and I took a pregnancy test and oh God mom it’s positive, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I can’t get an abortion, I’m all alone, I’m 17, I’m in high school, and I can’t do this, and I can’t go to college, and now I’m gonna have to drop out and work at McDonald’s.” He sucked in a breath and started crying again.

   

His mother just stood there, embracing her son, waiting for him to stop crying so she could do what mothers do best. She walked him down to the dining room table and sat him down before sitting next to him.

   

“Okay, now that you’ve calmed down a little, let’s talk this out. So you took a test and it came back positive? Do you have the test?” Michael nodded and reached into his pocket presenting her with said stick. She looked it over and looked up at Michael with caring eyes.

   

“Well according to the test, you are pregnant.” Michael let out an airy sob at that statement. “But I can assure you that you are not alone in this. You have me and your mother. As for college, we will cross that bridge when we have to, but for now we will focus on what’s happening right now. Okay?” She took hold of Michael’s hand giving it a reassuring squeeze.

   

Michael took his free hand and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM! finally the chapter a lot of you have been waiting for.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry to do this but i will not be posting a chapter on Sunday. I work in the morning and then i'm going to night church... sorry guys, I'll post Saturday and be back on Monday.
> 
> Comments and Kudos heal my sick body.


	18. The Doctor Will See You Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I will not be posting easter Sunday because i have to work and then go to night church after.  
> So please enjoy this extra long chapter today.
> 
> If you want to... while i take a 1 day break... go back and reread the first few chapters, and see if you can pick out hints i left of what is to come.

Michael didn’t go to school for the next two days. His activity was limited to sleeping and running to the bathroom to throw up. He had sat down with both his moms and explained the whole story.

 

When it came to moms, Michael must have hit the double jackpot. His mothers weren’t disappointed in him, and even if they were a little, they didn’t show it. They set up an appointment for Michael that Sunday with a local doctor to confirm and make sure everything was alright. They had even offered to go with him, which he quickly accepted. Sunday came quickly, but that was probably because he had slept the majority of 3 days. Last minute one of his moms couldn’t make it to the appointment because of work so it was just Michael and his mom Sam.

   

Michael felt weird being in _this_ doctor’s office, littered with pictures of happy families, and of course women holding little babies. Yeah, Michael had never pictured this as one of the places he’d ever be.

   

“Mell?” a short nurse called from behind the counter.

   

Michael and his mom stood up and were ushered by the nurse into a small room. “So if we could just have you hop on the scale” the nurse said happily… to Sam.

   

“Actually, this appointment is for my son Michael Mell.”

  

The nurse made a face as if her brain was working in overdrive until she finally readdressed the situation. “Oh I’m sorry about the confusion, Michael… can I have _you_ hop on the scale so we can get a baseline weight.”

   

Michael stepped on the scale and was shocked to learn he was about 8 pounds heavier than he was at the beginning of summer. He wasn’t obsessed with his weight by any means, but knew he was already a little pudgier than he would have liked. The nurse did a few more tests (blood pressure, heart rate, blood samples… that sort of stuff,) before she left to go get the doctor.    

   

Michael sat on the exam table and was greeted by the doctor. She was a tall woman and had black hair that was cut into a bob.

   

“Alright Michael, so it says you’re here because you’re pregnant; congratulations!” Michael squirmed at her words (He certainly didn’t think congratulations were in order.) “So in order to see what’s going on with the baby I’m going to give you an ultrasound. Can I have you lift up your shirt and lie back. Michael removed his hoodie and rolled up his shirt.

  

“Now this is gonna be a little cold.” She squeezed the freezing jelly onto Michael’s belly and started moving it around with the wand. Michael looked over at his mom who took his hand and gave a reassuring pat, sensing that her son was uncomfortable.

   

Michael and his mom’s gazes were ripped apart when they heard an all too universal sound… of a heartbeat. (It was awfully fast,) Michael thought, as he gazed at the screen trying to follow the doctors finger.

   

“That’s your baby. Everything looks right on track. By these measurements... I’d estimate you’re about 7 or 8 weeks along, does that sound about right?”

  

Michael nodded, never taking his eyes off the bean on the monitor.

   

“Alright, so that means your due date will be sometime in April. I can add you to my service if you feel comfortable or you can go elsewhere if you choose.”

 

Michael finally broke his staring contest with the screen. “I’d like to stay here if that’s okay.” Both Sam and the doctor nodded.

   

“Now Michael I noticed you came in wearing a binder. Now you are allowed to wear it until week 9, after which it could be potentially harmful; however, I have had other trans patients and can recommend alternatives if you still wish to bind.”

    

Michael’s face lit up (Oh thank God he can still "sort of" bind.) They, talked over a few more topics, such as how to relieve Michael’s nausea, nutrition, and things to avoid (goodbye sushi and weed my old friends) before they scheduled the next appointment for his 15-week checkup and left the office to go home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me feel better *cough* *cough*
> 
> Update 05/08/2018 - so i have gotten a few comments on my knowledge of trans culture, specifically binding and how it differs when the person is pregnant. That being said i changed the wording around a little bit (mainly i removed the idea of using ace bandages as binder) I do not claim to have medical knowledge of how to properly bind and if you are looking for legitimate advice I would seek out the opinion of your doctor. Please know that I only wish to make a enjoyable story for everyone here and do not want to come off as naive so if I make a mistake, please let me know (and if you can let me know what i need to do to fix it.)  
> Thanks for reading


	19. I Hate Mondays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone
> 
> hope you all had a great easter... now go celebrate by getting that sweet sweet discount candy.
> 
> I'm still not feeling great, but wanted to make sure this got out.

Michael got up on Monday morning with the intention of going to school that day. He had woken up at his regular time and prepared himself for the day. He was completely fine, until he walked downstairs that is. Sam and Connie were in the kitchen, making breakfast. Michael was walking in to kiss his mothers goodbye when a waft of burning grizzle hit him square in the face; they were cooking _bacon._ Bacon, one of Michael’s favorite foods, suddenly became his sworn enemy. He clamped a hand over his mouth and his eyes darted for the nearest solution, which just so happened to be the kitchen sink. He jolted his body into the counter as he wretched and heaved what little food he had been able to keep down from yesterday. His mothers were at his side instantly, rubbing his back until he placed his head in hands, signifying he was done. Connie immediately through all the bacon in the outside garbage. Nobody was hungry anymore.

 

Michael ended up skipping school, but came back to school on Tuesday. The doctor had given him some anti-nausea tablets that finally kicked in a little. They weren’t a cure all, but at least Michael could keep down some bland crackers. He walked into school avoiding the students who occupied the hallways.

   

There was no telling yet, but Michael knew that in a few months the whole school would be gossiping about the “pregnant dude” in their class. For right now, he was content to keep that secret to himself, until he sees Jeremy of course, He would obviously tell his best friend about this and just hope that Jeremy wouldn’t think of him as a freak. Michael saw Jeremy in homeroom but he was talking to Brooke and Chloe. (okay no problem I’ll just tell him later.)

   

Michael didn’t get to talk to Jeremy in English class either, which was weird because they usually sat together. At lunch he found Jeremy sitting at a table with Jake, Rich, Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna. Okay now that was weird. In fact, Michael didn’t see Jeremy alone until the end of the day when he was walking to his locker.

   

“Hey Jeremy funny story, so remember how at the mall I…” Michael was cut off by Jeremy signaling over to Rich and putting his arm out to high five the shorter boy. Was Jeremy ignoring him? … had he done something wrong? … was this because he didn’t take him home after the mall?

   

“Jeremy come on man talk to me; what’s up?” Radio silence. It was almost like Michael wasn’t there. Michael just stood there as Jeremy and Rich walked out the school doors.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS!!!!


	20. My Mirror Staring Back At Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM 20 chapters!

Another 3 weeks went by of Jeremy not talking to Michael. Michael was pissed at Jeremy for just abandoning him just so he could sit with the cool kids, but had eventually realized that it must have something to do with the Squip thing from the mall… because Jeremy wouldn’t just flat out ignore his best friend, at least he hoped.

   

Michael currently had a lot going on in his life. School was just the usual level of bull crap as always. His mothers had been spending more time with him, asking about how he was feeling and making plans, firstly to finish senior year a semester early to look for a job; Michael’s moms said they didn’t mind watching after their grandchild until Michael finished high school, but he would have to start saving up a little money to help out.

  

Michael had also been doing his own research. He was currently 11 weeks and learned that the baby was about the size of a lime (and that he had already gained too much weight for how far along he was.) He or she also started growing fingernails, and began developing teeth under their gums. He was almost at the end of his first trimester which meant his morning sickness should finally start improving (Thank God.)

  

But that wasn’t all the research Michael was doing. Michael had made it his personal mission to find out all he could about the squip. He had searched and searched and had finally found someone on World of Warcraft (of all places,) who had some useful information. Michael gathered more information throughout the week and decided since Jeremy wasn’t gonna talk to him, he would have to go to Jeremy; and he knew that everybody in the popular crowd would be at Jake’s Halloween party tonight.

   

Michael threw on his hoodie and started to the door when he stopped when he saw something… off. He backtracked until he was staring at his reflection in the mirror. His face had softened a little over the weeks, but that wasn’t what was bothering him. He slowly turned to the side. There in the mirror… was proof; the slightest sign of a bump in his middle.

   

Michael stared at his reflection, picking out any sign he could. Anybody else may not have noticed, or just mistaken it as weight gain, but Michael knew what his body normally looked like, and that bump was definitely not normal for him. He didn’t want to take a chance of someone noticing at the party. He tore off his hoodie and searched his closet for something a little roomier. He threw a few things around in his closet knowing they wouldn’t fit until he found a black sweater with “creeps” written across the chest.

   

An aunt had bought it for him and it was too big, but he just couldn’t bring himself to get rid of it, it was still a pretty cool sweater. He pulled the sweater on, glancing at himself in the mirror, and headed to the party.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter.  
> This is one of my favorite chapters in the story just because i think my idea of why Michael wore the creeps sweater was a really cool idea.
> 
> Comments and Kudos feed my soul.


	21. Emergency Rooms and Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: I deleted the chapter that just says id be posting late... so i did post today
> 
> WOOHOO i ended up getting done with the doctor way before i thought.
> 
> Please enjoy. Hope you're all caught up... got some big chapters coming up this week... stay tuned.

* _Present day*_

 

Michael walked out of the bathroom and made his way downstairs. He placed his headphones over his ears, walking through the party as if it were on mute. The only thing he could hear was the thudding of his heart in his chest.

  

He made it out the front door and was hit with the cool October wind; crisp and clean. Michael searched for his car, thankful that no one had boxed in his cruiser. He made his way over to the driver side, fumbling with the keys trying to open the door, God his hands just wouldn’t stop shaking. He opened the door, pondering for a minute, then proceeded to the trunk to grab a towel that he used for the last time he went to the beach (God only knows when that was.)

   

He placed the towel on the seat, got in the car, and started making the drive to the hospital. He pulled his phone out of his front pocket, considered calling his moms, but figured he didn’t want to worry them if it was just nothing.

  

The drive was a blur of lights and cars, but he somehow made it safely to the local hospital. He parked next to the emergency department.

   

As he walked into the ER waiting room he was kind of surprised that there were only a handful of people waiting, hopefully that meant he wouldn’t have to wait for long. Usually the ER was overflowing on Halloween, full of potentially twisted ankles, stomach aches, and drunk drivers.

  

“Name?” At the front desk was a Jamaican lady wearing a red hair-wrap.

 

“Michael Mell.”

 

“And why are ya here today?” she asked

 

Michael crouched down close to the window so that she could hear his soft statement. “I’m bleeding.”

  

“Lots of people are bleeding honey; this is the ER after all. I’m gonna need ya to be more specific than that.” She had obviously had a long day and was a little quick to snap at Michael.

  

Michael could feel the tears welling up in his eyes but tried to blink them away as he took off his glasses to rub his eyes, letting a single tear trail down his cheek. “I t-think something is wrong with my baby.”

  

The sharp features of the lady in front of him instantly soften at those words. “It’s gonna be okay honey. I need you to fill out this page of information so that we can get you in as soon as possible, can ya do that for me?”

  

Michael just nodded; not knowing if he could even speak. He decided to stand near the front desk: One because he didn’t want to potentially ruin one of the seats; and two because the counter was nice leverage for when the cramping came back. He was seen second out of the group in the waiting room.

  

“Mell” a nurse called from behind the glass.

  

“That’s me.” Michael said as the nurse ushered him through the large door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The doctor gave me antibiotics... but i'd much rather get comments
> 
> *ALSO* my depiction of a Jamaican person is based on encounters I have had with Jamaican woman and is in no way a negative critique on any culture (i based this character off the one Jamaican lady i know)


	22. The Room Where It Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! This chapter contains  
> Body Dysphoria  
> Gender Dysphoria

He followed the nurse to a room in the back. Hospitals were far from Michael’s favorite place. Not that he had ever had a bad experience or anything, they just creeped him out, too white and sterile. “Put this gown on. The doctor will be in in a minute,” The nurse said as he closed the curtain to the room. Michael placed the gown on the bed and started peeling away his layers of clothes.

  

First his “creeps” sweater. He could definitely see the slight curve he had developed now that he was shirtless. His fingers brushed against his middle, sending a tingle through his body. He took off his ace wrap but chose to leave on the sports bra. Lastly he peeled off his jeans and boxers and was met with a gruesome sight, he was definitely bleeding. It wasn’t life threatening though, roughly the same as a normal period. ( _Normal_. Nothing about this was normal. Normal boys don’t get periods. Normal boys don’t get pregnant,) he thought to himself.

   

He folded his jeans but threw his boxers in the trash knowing there was no way he would be wearing those home. The doctor knocked on the door and opened the curtain.

   

“Good evening Mr. Mell. I’m Luke, the doctor running the ER tonight. Now it says here you are 12 weeks pregnant and are experiencing some cramping as well as bleeding. Is that correct?” Michael nodded at the question. “Well we are going to have our ultrasound technician come and give you a scan, but some spotting can be normal in pregnancy.”

   

Michael just nodded (This is not normal.)

Luke came back in with the technician about 15 minutes later and observed the scan. Michael laid back and watched as the image on the screen became clearer. He remembered what his little bean looked like from 4 weeks ago, and had an idea what a 12-week ultrasound was _supposed_ to look like from all the books he read in the library. The whole scan took about 10 minutes… 10 agonizingly silent minutes.

  

“I’m sorry Mr. Mell but I’m not seeing a heartbeat. There doesn’t seem to be any abnormalities with the structure of your uterus so the fetus may have just been non-viable. This happens sometimes and is not a result of your health.”

  

Michael heard bits and pieces of the remaining information: such as, “naturally pass” “D&C” “appointment with your regular doctor” and “miscarriage.” And just like that it was over. Dr. Luke said he could get dressed and see the front desk for a prescription to help with the cramping. Michael walked through the ER when he heard a voice he had heard before.

  

“I told you I don’t know how the fuck it started!” Michael looked over to see Rich being wheeled into the ER on a gurney. He looked like shit man, his arms were majorly fucked up and his face was red on one side, not as bad as his arms… but still a burn. His clothes singed with smoke. They made eye contact for a split second until Rich was whisked into an available room, the cop not too far behind.

   

Michael made his way to the front desk. The same woman from earlier handed him a bottle of pills.

  

“I am so sorry for your loss.” Michael gave her a tearful smile almost as if to say it’ll be okay.

  

Michael made his way back to the car, starting it up and began making his way back home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... i slept for like 16 hours.  
> Being sick is kicking my ass
> 
> Anywho... boom, we finally know what is going on.  
> Im sorry if this isn't what you thought was gonna happen... but i encourage you to keep reading because while it is sad, it will have a happy ending.


	23. This is Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I actually got a chapter up on time for once.

Michael silently walked up to his front door and clicked the lock to go into his house, making sure to be extra quiet. Right now he didn’t want to do anything except sleep. He didn’t feel like eating or playing a game, he just wanted sleep. Unfortunately for him, that wasn’t gonna happen any time soon.

  

“Where the hell have you been!” His mother Connie was standing in the kitchen, his mother Sam coming down the stairs at the sound of yelling.

  

“Honestly Michael did you think being out this late was a responsible thing to do; we’ve been calling your phone for an hour but it keeps going straight to voicemail.”

  

“I was at the hospital.” Michael said, barely a whisper.

  

“What?”

 

Michael didn’t know if they were asking for confirmation or if they just didn’t hear him so he said it again.

  

“I said I was at the hospital.”

 

Sam stood there frozen, too afraid to ask what they were both wondering.

  

“What happened?” Connie finally found the strength to ask. Michael looked at his mothers, then instantly looked down at the floor, feeling a tightness in his chest (they were going to be so disappointed when he told them.)

  

“I started bleeding, so I went to get everything checked out. But… but there was no heartbeat. Mom, I’m sorry, I lost the baby.”

  

Sam clutched a hand to her mouth, trying her best to keep it together. Connie immediately closed the distance with her son, Sam not far behind, embracing the crumpling form of their son. Sam and Connie were crying, Michael was not, he just felt too numb to cry. He had cried on the car ride home, but now he was too tired. He just stood there in his mother’s grips prone to shuddering.

  

Michael’s moms walked him to his room. They obviously wanted to know more but knew that now was not the time to ask; there would always be tomorrow. Michael laid in his bed, popped a couple of the hospital pills in his mouth, washing it down with a glass of water his mothers had given to him, curled into a ball, and went to sleep.

 


	24. Mountain Dew Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone.  
> Hope you all had a great week.  
> I'm finally starting to feel a little better.  
> Any who enjoy the chapter. It's a little shorter than the last few chapters.

Michael stayed home from school that week. Monday and Tuesday consisted of cramping and cries of agony. The pills only could dull the physical pain so much. When things got really bad, he just took a pillow into the bathroom with him so he could lay on the cool tile floor for hours. Michael’s moms took off a few days to be with their son, bringing him heating pads, and occasionally food. He never ate it anyway.

  

On Wednesday they went back to Michael’s doctor. She had confirmed that the findings at the hospital were correct, and spent the rest of the appointment going over his options in more detail. She said that the baby probably had no heartbeat for a few days, meaning that Halloween was probably the beginning of the late stages of miscarriage. She marked his loss at 11 weeks and 5 days meaning that the majority of the process was already over.

  

She said he may experience light bleeding and mild cramping for about another week. She gave some pamphlets to his mothers about grief and how to handle a miscarriage telling them to give them to Michael “When he is ready.”

  

Thursday was the first day that actually felt real to Michael. He still felt like shit and spent the majority of the morning crying, but actually ate a half a piece of toast his mom had brought in before he turned on his phone for the first time since it powered off Saturday. He was met with quite a few Facebook posts, mainly about some fire at Jake’s house (He’d have to ask about that later.)

  

His phone also pinged with a calendar event, “Jeremy’s play Friday 7pm.” He glanced at that pop up on his phone. He hadn’t thought about Jeremy all week but knew that he still needed his help. Michael sent a text to Elliot.

  

**Michael – Hey Elliot. It’s Michael Mell. By any chance do you have any Mountain Dew Red in the stockroom? Kind of important.**

**Elliot – Nope sorry** **:(**

**Elliot – I have a few bottles in my personal collection if you need one that badly I’ll sell you one.**

**Michael – I’d really appreciate it, can you come by today.**

**Elliot – Anything for my number one customer, I get off at 5:30. I’ll be by @ 6.**

**Michael – Thanks bro.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially surpassed 10,000 words!
> 
> Leave me comments letting me know how you like the story so far.


	25. The Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is... another chapter.
> 
> This is officially the HALF WAY POINT!! good job making it this far (please don't leave me).
> 
> To be completely honest... out of all 50 chapters; this is my least favorite chapter, i had such a hard time writing it.
> 
> Anywho... time to take a nap.

 

They had done it; they had defeated the squip. Michael would have been a little more relieved if he wasn’t surrounded by a dozen passed out classmates and teachers. He sat on the dusty stage floor clutching Jeremy’s limp body in his arms. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed 911.

 

“What is the nature of your emergency?”

 

“Um, I’m at Middleborough High School in the auditorium and my friends are on the floor and they’re not moving.”  


“We are sending ambulances now, how many people are unconscious.”

 

“Um, 10 I think... No, maybe 12?” Michael looked around; he wasn’t sure if everybody was on the stage or not.

 

“Alright, now are they breathing?”

 

Michael began to panic at that thought, he hadn’t even checked to see if they were alive. Was he surrounded by a dozen dead people right now?

 

“Sir?”

 

“Uh yeah, yeah I’m here.”

 

“What’s your name?” the voice behind the phone asked.

 

“It’s um Michael Mell.”

 

“Okay Michael, I’m gonna need you to stay calm for me. Is there anyone else there helping you?”

 

Michael glanced around the empty auditorium, “No. no, I’m alone.” He could feel tears falling down his face (He is all alone,) but couldn’t be bothered by these thoughts, right now his friend needed him.

 

“That’s okay, the ambulances should be arriving any minute.”

 

Suddenly Michael heard a commotion coming from the entrance, then he heard the sirens.  
  
“I think the ambulance is here, I gotta go let them in.” Michael hung up his phone, put it back in his pocket, and went to open the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/ Kudos make my brain go bzzz and my heart go "wow"
> 
> UPDATE: Holy toleto everyone! we are 46 views away from 1,000 views!!!!!! Thank you all so much for all your positive comments and such.


	26. Lunch is Bangin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm getting sick again :(
> 
> Anyways... enjoy this chapter, it's mainly fluff and humor but it is ENTIRELY necessary ;)

After the night of the play, everyone who was squipped spent some time in the hospital recovering. Michael had gone back to school on Monday considering he wasn’t one of the squipped kids. One by one they came back and things had finally started to go back to normal (or at least as normal as a high school full of teens who hear voices can be.) When Michael came back to school, no one really noticed he was gone in the first place. Rich came back a completely new person from when he left. Jeremy and Christine had agreed to try out the whole dating thing. Yeah, okay not much went back to normal.

   

Michael glanced over at Jeremy in homeroom as he was sitting with Christine, but was happy to find that he was sitting next to him in English again. They may not be on their original level of friendship yet… but they were getting there… they were trying. Michael walked into the cafeteria and was flagged down by Jeremy and Christine.

  

They were sitting at one of the popular tables with Jake, Rich, Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna. Michael sat down, still a little uncertain if this was a prank or not.

 

“Michael, settle this for us okay. Who is the better YouTuber: Markiplier of jacksepticeye?” Chloe asked.

 

“Mark is so much funnier and doesn’t shout nonsense like Jack does.” Jake replied.

 

“But the yelling is part of Jack’s character, it makes him so much funnier.” Rich escalated.

 

“Sorry guys, but I got to agree with Jake on this one, Mark wins.” Michael said, banging his imaginary gavel.

 

“Not even” Brooke argued.

 

“Bullshit,” Rich replied throwing his arms up in the air.

 

“I like Shane Dawson.” Jeremy interjected.

 

“Nope, none of that… not in my good Christian suburbs!” Christine yelled, chucking her roll at Jeremy.

 

Jenna was practically on the floor laughing at this point.

 

After spending the whole lunch bantering and making jokes, Michael decided they were genuinely nice people and he would give them a chance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me a happy tictac


	27. Two Player Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HIT 1,000 VIEWS!!!!! holy shit thank you all so much.
> 
> I'm on time for once.
> 
> Anyway... enjoy some fluffy stuff.

“Hey do you wanna come over to my place.” Jeremy stood by Michael’s locker as he put away his last few books.

  

“Sure” Michael replied.

They made their way to Michael’s car and started the drive to Jeremy’s house.

 

It had been almost a week since the play and this was the first time Michael and Jeremy had hung out together in months, so even though Michael wasn’t feeling his best, he was adamant on going; a little cramping wasn’t going to stop him.

  

“So Christine said she wanted to try to go on a date on Saturday, but I have no idea where to take her. Do you have any ideas?”

 

Michael thought for a moment (potentially thinking of where he’d take Jeremy on a date if he had the chance.) But gay thoughts would have to wait for another time.

  

“Maybe the build your own burrito bowl place next to Target.”

   

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that place.”

 

A few more ideas were thrown around, even though Jeremy’s mind was set the instant that “cat café” was introduced to the conversation. Michael pulled into the driveway. They walked into the house.    

   

“Dad I’m home and Michael is here!”

 

Mr. Heere walked out from the living room, wearing pants no less.

  

“Ah Michael, long time no see. School keeping you busy son?”

  

“Uh yeah school is whack” Michael chuckled rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

  

“Well it’s nice to see you again, you look good.”

  

“Thanks Mr. Heere.” Jeremy and Michael walked up to Jeremy’s room, which hadn’t really changed much since he was last there, although he would have to admit it was a little cleaner.

  

“Alright so I have Super Smash, AOTD, and Sonic. What are you up for?” Jeremy threw himself into his beanbag, Michael sitting a little more carefully.

  

“You know ATOD is my shit man.”

  

Jeremy plopped the disc into the console and gave Michael his controller.

  

“Two player game?” Jeremy asked.

  

“You know it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww the boys are friends again.
> 
> What's gonna happen next? Keep reading to find out.
> 
> Comments and Kudos keep the lights on.


	28. Asthma Is My Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't even know what I'm doing with these chapter titles anymore.

The Squip Squad, as they came to be known, (much to Michael dislike,) had become super close in the weeks after the play. They had each formed groups that liked to do certain things together and had hung out a few times as a full group. Rich had asked out Jake about 2 weeks after the play. Jeremy and Christine had been on a few dates. Rich, Jeremy, and Michael spent weekends playing video games, while the girls and Jake sat on the living room floor playing cards against humanity and painting nails.

   

Chloe was the one that suggested that they all go to the mall together and do some Christmas/holiday shopping. Michael had picked up Jeremy, Brooke brought Jenna and Jake, Christine’s mom had driven her, and Rich and Chloe took the bus since they lived closest. They all met up in front of Macy’s and made groups to go look at different stores. It ended up just being a guy group and a girl group.

 

After about 2 hours of shopping they lugged their bags to the food court for some lunch.

  

“Jesus! Jenna what the fuck did you buy?” Rich exclaimed looking at Jenna’s 10 bags.

  

Everyone just laughed at Rich’s reaction. Everyone went to their preferred food vendors and came back to one table and began eating.

  

“FUCK” Jake yelled reaching for his Sbarro’s cup “I burned the roof of my mouth on my pizza.”

  

“Hey! If anyone here gets to talk about burns… it’s gonna be me!” Rich remarked kissing one of his arms, covered in pink scar marks. The whole group laughed at Richs comment.

  

“I still can’t believe you burned down Jake’s house and no one was hurt,” Jenna added.  

  

Rich gasped, faking an offended demeanor, “Speak for yourself, my little arson attempt landed 3 of us in the hospital.”

  

“Three, I thought it was only two?” Jenna asked.   

“Nah man, Me, Jake, and Michael all ended up in the ER that night.”

  

Christine spat her drink, “Michael I didn’t know you got hurt at the party!”

  

An uncomfortable amount of eyes were currently staring at him. Michael could feel anxiety bubble up in his chest as he looked for a suitable excuse.

  

“U-uh no I di-didn’t get hurt, I just went because…. The smoke messed with my asthma. Yeah, and I didn’t bring my inhaler with me so…” Almost everyone accepted that answer, but Jeremy shot Michael a look that he hoped didn’t mean they would talk about it later. But of course that’s exactly what it meant.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUICK!! before i cough up a lung... comment and kudos this story.


	29. Car Ride Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot dam i slept like all day yesterday.  
> Im still sick

“You don’t have asthma.”   
   
(Well fuck,) Michael thought as he turned the key into the ignition. He sort of knew Jeremy has figured out his excuse was a lie; they smoked week almost weekly, so it was obvious Michael didn’t have problems with smoke. They hadn’t even started driving before Jeremy could call him out on his bull shit excuse from lunch.   
   
“What?” was the best response Michael could come up with.   
   
“You’ve never had asthma, even when you were little.” 

Michael wanted to see if he could avoid the question he knew would be coming, and just focused on getting out of the parking lot. The mall was extra crowded due to the upcoming holidays.  
   
“You didn’t answer me.” Jeremy was looking at him as he was driving.   
   
“Uh sorry. I spaced, what did you say?” Michael asked, even though he really didn’t want this conversation to continue.  
   
“I said why did you go to the hospital after the party.” 

This couldn’t be happening right now could it, he was just getting his friend back, he could drop a bomb on him so soon.   
   
“Was it because of the bathroom?”   
   
(Fuck, he knows.) Michael thought to himself.   
   
“Did you go to the hospital because you had a panic attack in the bathroom after we fought?”   
   
Michael turned to look at Jeremy. He didn’t look mad at all; his face was sullen, looking at Michael pleading for the truth; he was concerned.   
   
“Michael, I am so sorry. I had no idea that I gave you a panic attack at the party, and then my squip was yelling at me and I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t myself. You know I’d never want to hurt you like that. I know how bad your anxiety can get and it was a dick move on my part. I hope you can forgive me.” Michael glanced back over at Jeremy, trying to divide his attention between him and the road. Jeremy looked like he was on the verge of tears.   
    
“Hey man look at me, it’s not your fault okay, it wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to worry about it; we can just drop it.” Jeremy let out a sigh of relief that could be matched by Michael’s internal sigh.  
   
(Okay so he doesn’t know what happened.) Michael didn’t want to keep secrets from Jeremy, but their friendship was still fragile, and even though it had been weeks since the squip was defeated, he didn’t want to potentially drive Jeremy off again. Right now, in this moment, he didn’t have to know. Hopefully he would never have to know.   
   
“So what are you doing for Christmas?” Michael asked looking to change the subject.   
   
“Michael, you know I’m Jewish.” 

Michael developed a wicked smirk at a thought popped into his head.   
   
“Oh I’m sorry, I meant what are you doing for Anti-Christmas?”  
   
Jeremy gasped, “OMG MICHAEL MELL, HANAKKHU IS NOT ANTI-CHRISTMAS!”  
   
They both squealed into laughter at that statement and attempted to catch their breath as best as they could as Michael pulled up to Jeremy’s house.   
   
“Bye Michael, I’ll see you Monday.”  

“See ya Jer.” 

Jeremy shut the door, and once again Michael was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, the boys may not be as alright as they seem.
> 
> Im bored so tell me a little bit about you guys... how old are you and who's your favorite BMC character?


	30. Mistakes Were Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I've been home sick for 3 days and i still feel awful.

Michael would have liked to assure his friends and family that he was fine; but he wasn’t really fine. He thought that he should be handling this better, it had been two months already, but things had only gotten worse.

  

Nightmares became an unwelcome addition to his nightly routine; most of them having to do with Halloween in some form. He started sleeping less and less. His mothers had encouraged him to go to a group counseling event, and he went to the first one, but never went back after that; being the only guy there made him uncomfortable, reliving that night was still too hard for him, and hearing other’s stories just made him feel worse. He ate a lot less often, his face gaunt and sleep deprived, his hoodie began to hang on him.

  

He also began to skip class more frequently, usually texting Jeremy that, “He wasn’t feeling good.” Jeremy would normally buy this excuse, because of the cold weather, and how Michael was looking rather frail these days. But when Michael missed three days of school in a row, including his English final, Jeremy knew something wasn’t right.

  

Michael was Jeremy’s best friend and he was worried about him. He couldn’t take loosing Michael a second time. He needed Michael. So Jeremy found himself bundled in his winter coat and scarf; knocking on the Mell’s door. Sam was the one to answer the door. Jeremy looked at Michael’s mom. She looked like she wasn’t feeling well either; her eyes were puffy and red, so maybe all of the Mell’s were sick. She gave Jeremy a warm smile.

  

“Hi Jeremy, how have you been doing?”

  

“I’m good Mrs. Mell. Is Michael home? I wanted to see if he was still feeling sick?”

  

“He’s upstairs in his room. If he’s asleep you can come downstairs and have some hot chocolate.” Jeremy thanked her and walked up the stairs. Jeremy cracked to door to Michaels room, glancing through before opening it all the way. Michael’s room looked pretty much the same; a little messy, but overall still very Michael chic.

  

He looked around until he saw Michael. He was sleeping on the bed, curled up into himself, wearing nothing but boxers and a sports bra. Jeremy blushed. (He must be freezing.) With that thought, Jeremy picked a blanket up off the floor and draped it over Michael’s lower half.

  

While doing this, Jeremy got a much more intimate look at Michael than he had in months. Michael was usually very sensitive about the body he was given and didn’t like others to see it, but being asleep he didn’t really have any say in who saw him. He looked so fragile, like a passing breeze would shatter him. He could see Michael’s ribs. His body was littered in goosebumps. His skin was not its normal tan, but more ashen, almost grey.

  

This wasn’t his Michael. His Michael was vibrant, happy, beautiful.

  

Jeremy walked back down the stairs and went to the kitchen and sat at the counter while Sam poured him a glass of hot chocolate.

  

“He was sleeping,” Jeremy started.

  

“Thank you for not waking him up; he really hasn’t been getting much sleep lately.”

  

They sat at the counter and sipped from their cups until Sam decided to break the silence, “How has he seemed to you otherwise?” Michael’s mom gave Jeremy a worried look; Michael was her only son and he meant the world to her, to both of his moms.

  

“He’s been alright. He’s a little quieter than usual, but otherwise I guess he’s fine.” Sam nodded and they continued to nurse their hot chocolates. Jeremy squirmed in his seat, feeling as though he should say something to Michael’s mom; maybe an apology. He did feel that Michael’s depressed state was somewhat his fault, even though Michael said he had forgiven him for everything that happened that night.

  

“I assume he told you about Halloween?” Jeremy said.

 

Sam looked up at Jeremy, suddenly become much more committed to the conversation.

  

“Yes, he told us what happened after he got home from the hospital.”

 

Jeremy inspected Mrs. Mell’s face for any signs of anger or disgust, because that’s what he deserved for how he had treated Michael; but that wasn’t what he saw. A lone tear traced behind her glasses and escaped onto the curve of her cheek.

  

“Mrs. Mell I am so s-sorry, I never m-meant for Michael to get hurt.” Jeremy could feel his throat closing up. He had made Michael’s mom cry, (she probably hates you, you know.)

  

“No, Jeremy, listen to me; this was not your fault. Things like this just happen sometimes. The doctor said there was nothing they could have done to save the baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Inserts Dramatic Music* well, i guess some stuff happened in this chapter.  
> Comment below with what you think is gonna happen next.


	31. Fight or Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to start this off with a big fat THANK YOU to all the readers.  
> Yesterday we broke a goal I've had since this all began... we surpassed 50 reads on a single chapter.  
> It may not seem like much but to me it's huge.  
> Thank you all for the comments and kudos; they mean the world to me.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter, it's a little short but it's a doozy

Baby? Jeremy thought as he sat with Mrs. Mell at the kitchen island. He wondered what she could possibly be talking about.

  

“Mrs. Mell, what exactly are you saying?”

 

The magnitude of the mistake she had made came flooding to her as she leapt from her seat at the counter. “Oh my God, he never told you.”

 

Suddenly Jeremy was standing up alongside Sam. In the corner of his eye Jeremy had spotted Michael standing at the kitchen entrance, his hoodie swallowing him up.

  

“Michael!” Jeremy called out, his voice cracking.

  

“Get out” was all Michael could manage to get out, tears streamed down his face.

  

Jeremy took a cautious step forward, not in any particular direction, just to see what the reaction would be.

  

“GET OUT!” This time Michael practically wailed at him, covering his mouth and running back up the stairs gasping for breath. The sound of a slamming door shook the house.

  

Jeremy was silent, not able to find words that could rectify the situation he found himself in. He simply thanked Mrs. Mell for his drink, and walked out the front door. As soon as he left, Mrs. Mell ran up the stairs and into Michael’s room.

  

Upon entering, she found that he was hunkered down in the corner of his room closest to the closet, the floor littered with shattered remnants of what was once a lamp.

  

“Michael, I am so sorry.”

  

“You had no right to tell him!” Michael’s words sounded harsh but were followed by loud sobs.

  

“He was talking about Halloween and I assumed you had told him; I’m sorry Michael.” Sam cautiously approached he quivering son, who had never looked so small, even as a child. She hunched over him and began rocking him, singing a Tagalog song he had grown up listening to.

   

“I never wanted him to f-find out.” Michael sat there, in his mother’s arms, rocking and singing to him until he fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We must protect Michael at all costs.
> 
> Comment below with your favorite part of the story so far.


	32. How Could I Be Sad Over Something I Never Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the end notes at the end please :)

Michael stirred from his sleep, feeling less than rested. He pushed himself off the floor, grasping at the blanket that had been laid over him. He opened his eyes to find that Sam was no longer in his room, but Connie was there, sweeping up the last of his former lamp with a hand broom and dustpan.

  

“Sorry about the lamp,” Michael managed to croak out; his throat was raw from crying. Connie quickly dropped what she was doing and turned to her son, sliding down the wall so that she was sitting at Michael’s side.

  

“I’m not upset about the lamp.”

  

Michael gazed up at his mom, the beginnings of tears stinging his eyes; he never wanted to upset his moms.

  

“I’m upset because you felt like you couldn’t come to us with how you were feeling.” A single tear pooled on the floor below him.

  

“I’m not really sure what I feel anymore.” Michael’s statement was met with a sigh from his mom; but not a sigh of annoyance, more of a sigh in response, to let him know she was still listening.

  

“Did your mother ever tell you that before she got pregnant with you, I was going to carry our baby.” Michael pushed himself off of his mother at that statement, giving her his full attention.

  

“I was the first to do IVF, but after 2 weeks we found out that it never took.”

 

Michael had never heard this story from either of his mothers.

 

Connie chuckled, “It’s funny… I mean, how could I be so sad over something I never had.” She looked her son in the eyes, tears forming behind her brilliant blue ones.

   

“How did you get better?” Michael eyes darted desperately searching his mother’s form for any answer.

  

She gave a half-hearted laugh as she gazed into the floorboards. “A part of me never did.” She took a calming breath before looking at her son. “But eventually I started to talk about what I was feeling with my friends and your mother, and even though we hadn’t been through the same things, they were still there to help me through it; good friends are like that, ya know.”

  

Michael thought back to this afternoon's happenings. At this point he wasn’t sure if he even had a best friend anymore. But he wasn’t ready to face Jeremy yet, not when he still felt so vulnerable.

  

“I think I know who I have to talk to.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where the title comes into play.
> 
> I took this line from an episode of friends where Rachel takes a pregnancy test and Phoebe tells her it's negative... and she gets really upset and says those words.
> 
> Anyways, thank you guys so much for reading.
> 
> Comment below WHO YOU THINK MICHAEL IS GOING TO TALK TO (it's already been decided... i just want to know)


	33. 2 Kids In A Starbucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, nobody guessed who the mystery gang member was in this chapter... so... here you go. Enjoy
> 
> Read the end notes for more.

Michael rushed from his car into the Starbucks near his house, trying to escape the bitter cold outside. A quick shiver hit him as the warmth of the shop enveloped his body. He eyed around until he found an empty couch he could claim for the pair. He sat down, adjusting his headphones and settling into the couch, deciding he’d wait to order a drink. He watched the door, thinking out what he would say. This was a lot of heavy stuff to just drop on someone. Michael had been dealing with this for months and it was still a lot for him to comprehend.

 

The chime of the door bell alerted him that someone new was here. He looked up to see Christine, decked out in a red knee length dress with black tights and boots. She had white fuzzy earmuffs that matched her mittens.

 

She scanned the small coffee shop until she found who she was looking for. She bounced over to Michael and enveloped him in a pint sized bear hug.

 

He nearly lost it at this alone, having to choke back a sob. (This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.)

 

“Oh my God Michael I’m so glad you called me. I was so worried when Jeremy said you were sick.”

 

Christine had become the mom friend of the group, always concerned with how everyone else was doing. While Michael already had double the moms of most people, he wouldn’t trade his mom-friend for anything. She was so caring and thoughtful, and Michael envied how optimistic she always was.

 

“Do you mind if I order something really quick, I could use a hot drink,” she chirped.

 

They both got their goodies. Christine got a peppermint tea and a coffee-cake muffin. Michael got a coffee with cream and hazelnut syrup.

 

Michael sat and stirred his coffee, not really sure how to start a conversation like this. What if Christine didn’t understand, or worse, understood but just didn’t care.

 

“So… I wanted to talk to you about something, and it’s kind of hard for me to talk about. You’re the first person I’m telling.”

 

“Oh, okay” Christine turned to give Michael her full attention, acknowledging the seriousness in his voice.

 

Michael took another sip of his coffee, trying to steady his nerves before he broke the silence of a secret he had been keeping for months. He let out a defeated sigh as his hands began to shake.

 

Christine reached over and grabbed his hand, “Just say what’s on your mind, Michael.”

 

He looked into Christine’s eyes, those caring eyes that could never judge anyone. “Back in September, I-I found out I was pregnant.”

 

Christine’s face lit up for a split second almost erupting into squeals before realizing Michael wasn’t meeting her with the same reaction. She settled back into the couch.

 

“But on Halloween I lost it.” Michael pulled away from Christine’s hands going back to his coffee, trying to find a solution to the stinging in the back of his eyes.

 

“You mean like a - a miscarriage?”

 

Michael nodded his head, “Yeah, that’s why I’ve b…” His sentence was cut short by two arms wrapping around his sides.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm losing my mind... i only slept for 2 hours and I'm SO TIRED!
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos as i use them to fuel this shell of a body.


	34. 2 Sappy Dorks in a Starbucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a relatively short chapter... but I thought it was pretty cute/incredibly funny.

“Michael, I had no idea you were going through this; I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to help you, I should have been a better friend.”

 

“No, no I’m sorry. I should have told you all sooner, but I was afraid you might see me differently.” Michael sniffed back any tears that were falling.

 

“Michael, we all love you so much, none of else would ever leave you over something that wasn’t your fault.”

 

They were both crying at this point, sitting in a coffee shop, entangled in a hug.

 

“So, is this why you’ve been missing so much school?”

 

Michael nodded, “Yeah. I just can’t bring myself to get out of bed in the morning. And it’s only gotten worse.”

 

“That’s okay Michael, you took a big step today by telling me, and when the time comes and you’re ready to come back to school, we will all be here for you.”

 

They separated from their hug, both wiping tears away with napkins and shirt sleeves. They sat on the couch in silence for a few minutes, sipping their drinks. Michael really didn’t know where to take the conversation after that; unfortunately for him, Christine still had some questions.

 

“So was Jeremy the father?”

 

Thank God he was wearing long sleeves, because Michael’s whole body blushed at her comment, looking her in the eyes until he couldn’t contain it anymore and just started cracking up. Christine joined him until they were sprawled out on the couch gasping for breath, gaining stares from the coffee shop employees.

 

“OH MY GOD! that has to be the most I’ve laughed in months.” Michael chuckled.

 

“Yeah,” Christine said, dabbing her eyes, “But that still wasn’t an answer” she smirked.

 

“NO! Christine, of course he’s not the father, he doesn’t even like me like that.”

 

“WELL I DON’T KNOW MICHAEL I FEEL SO OUT OF THE LOOP RIGHT NOW!”

 

Michael was holding back chuckles as he sipped his coffee, trying not to get any on himself.

 

“Have you told him?” Christine asked.

 

“Not yet,” Michael said, “I’m not even sure how to.”

 

Christine took Michael’s hand in her own, “Michael, Jeremy loves you, this is not going to change that; I promise.”

 

Michael nodded to Christine. “Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and Kudos or I will burn Starbucks to the ground.


	35. Jeremy Heere Detective Extraordinaire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone.  
> I'm sorry about not posting yesterday... but i needed a break.  
> I'm going through a lot of stuff with family members and friends... and also work is kicking my ass.  
> I kind of just needed a mental health day ; I hope you can all understand

Jeremy walked into his house and immediately bounded up the stairs to his room. He slammed his door shut and flopped onto his bed, still in all his outdoor attire.

 

A knock at his door made him take his face from out of his pillow to see who it was.

 

Mr. Heere poked his head through the door, “Hey son, everything alright in here?”

 

Jeremy just huffed (When had his dad gotten so good at reading his mind?)

 

“No dad, everything is not fine.”

 

Mr. Heere took this as a sign that he was not being totally shut out, so he continued. “Is it girl trouble or Michael trouble?”

 

Jeremy chuckled at his father’s statement, he found it funny that those were the only two possibilities for an upset Jeremy.

 

“Michael trouble,” he sighed.

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

Jeremy just shook his head, “Not now dad.”

 

And with that, Mr. Heere left his son in his bedroom to mope.

 

Jeremy collapsed back down on his bed, letting out a groan of frustration. He was so confused right now.

 

Mrs. Mell had said something about a baby, but Jeremy didn’t understand what that could have meant. He decided to go full-on detective mode on the situation. Mrs. Mell had said something about a baby; what did that mean. As politely as possible, Jeremy concluded that both Sam and Connie were too old to be having any more kids so he could probably rule them out. Michael didn’t know who his biological father was so it probably wasn’t a step-sibling, and Michael was an only child so...” That’s when it smacked Jeremy upside the head. He really could be oblivious sometimes. (What if she was talking about Michael?)

 

It was weird to think about, but it kind of made sense as to why Michael was missing school; but one thing didn’t add up. If something like that had happened, wouldn’t Michael have told Jeremy. They were best friends. They shared everything; he wouldn’t keep something so big to himself? Right?

 

Jeremy’s confusion slowly morphed into anger. Did Michael not trust him anymore? Was this because of what happened with the squip? He thought they had worked past that but apparently not.

 

One thing he knew for sure was that Michael had some explaining to do.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr Heere knocks on your door, "You should leave the author comments and kudos cause they make her a happy blob"


	36. Long Walks and Locking Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slept 16 hours yesterday... HOW

It took Michael a couple more days to gain the confidence to talk to Jeremy. It’s not like he was avoiding him, he just wanted to make sure he went about this discussion the right way, this wasn’t exactly bro talk; this was serious.    

   

Christine had been much more helpful than Michael could have ever assumed. She stopped by his house one day with a basket full of some of Michael’s favorite snacks, sodas, and a gift card to a local restaurant for his family. She also took the time to send him inspirational quotes and funny memes, and while a meme couldn’t fix him, it did make him feel a little better. He made sure to thank her, but she insisted that it was no trouble at all.

   

Michael got up that day and actually tried to eat something. For the first time in what felt like forever, he had a small appetite. He came downstairs and had a piece of peanut butter toast and half a banana but tossed the other half, deciding not to overdo it and make himself sick.

  

He had spent last night writing and rewriting what he planned to say to Jeremy, things along the lines of how there was nothing that could have been done and that he didn’t want everyone to walk on eggshells around him; he was trying to get better for the people he loved, and Jeremy was definitely one of them.

   

He decided he would walk to Jeremy’s house since he was fueled by breakfast; he needed some fresh air, and it would give him more time to think about what he would say. He locked up the house and started his walk. Jeremy lived close by so after about 10 minutes Michael was already at the front door. He gave a timid knock before knocking again to make sure it was heard. Mr. Heere was the one to answer the door.

 

“Why hello Michael, I haven’t seen you around lately.”

  

Michael gave a wave back, “Hey Mr. Heere. Is Jeremy home?”

  

“He’s upstairs” Mr. Heere ushered Michael into the house. Michael made his way up the stairs stopping at the top and looking back to Mr. Heere, almost as if he needed a gentle shove to just get it over with, but he was already out of sight.

  

Michael stood outside of Jeremy’s door, giving it three knocks. He could hear the sound of Jeremy rolling off his bean bag chair and walking to the door, mumbling something under his breath. Jeremy opened the door, and was completely unprepared to see who was standing before him

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's gonna happen next... stay tuned
> 
> 1 Comment = 1 bottle of diet coke to fuel my sleep deprived body


	37. Words Were Exchanged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day another chapter. Thank you all for reading my story... See end notes for more. Also comment and kudos or i will be a sad pupper.

“Uh hey,” Michael tried to smile at the taller boy in front of him.

  

“Hey,” Jeremy snipped back at him.

   

“Can I come in? I’ve got some stuff I wanted to talk to you about.”

 

Jeremy didn’t answer but moved aside from the door gesturing that Michael could come in. Michael walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, Jeremy opting for his bean bag chair.

  

Michael gave a huff as he pulled the paper out of his pocket, “So I assume you figured out what’s going on after what my mom said.”

  

Jeremy’s face was stone cold, no readable emotion showing through, “Yeah I’ve got an idea.”

  

Michael felt slightly nervous, but tried to reassure himself that he had to tell Jeremy. He was about to start speaking again when Jeremy interjected.

  

“That was pretty stupid Michael.”

 

Michael shot a look at Jeremy (He isn’t mad? is he?)

  

“What?” he asked.

  

Jeremy stood up and turned to his computer desk, “How could you not tell me this was happening, this is seriously Michael. I’m mean Jesus! You could’ve died.” Jeremy pulled some papers up off his desk and showed them to Michael, they all seemed to be papers on statistics and complications. “And yeah, I get that we were fighting, but that’s not an excuse. We are best friends. I mean what if I lost you Michael, I can’t imagine losing you over a stupid mistake.”

  

(Okay that last part stung.) Michael could feel the tears falling freely down his cheeks, his voice failing him, his paper crumpled up as he balled up his fists as Jeremy continued to yell.

  

“What were you thinking Michael?”

 

Michael suddenly was standing up and walked over to Jeremy to meet his eyes.

  

“I was thinking you were right Jeremy! I am stupid! I’m just a loser! A failure! I couldn’t keep you safe from the squip! I couldn’t even keep my baby alive!” Michael was pacing the room as he let out everything he had bottled up over the past 3 months. “And yeah it may have been stupid, but after 12 years of friendship I never expected you to be the one to point that out. I thought maybe you would be there for me, like a friend. I guess that was too much to ask for, and if this is how you plan to act about this, then I should just leave.”

   

Michael made a move for the door but was blocked by Jeremy’s arm.

    

“Move Jeremy.”

    

“No,” Jeremy replied.

 

Michael tried his best to get around Jeremy, and was almost out the door when Jeremy grabbed him from behind, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy.

    

“LET ME GO!” Michael was screaming, flailing his arms as Jeremy dragged him back into the room. Michael finally turned himself around and started throwing punches into Jeremy’s chest and arms.

  

“LET ME GO JEREMY!”

  

“NOT UNTIL YOU LET ME SPEAK!” Jeremy shouted back. Michael crumpled into Jeremy’s chest; he had exhausted all his energy trying to leave the room.

  

“I’m not mad” Jeremy paused to think for a moment, “...Okay, I was a little mad, but I’m not mad _at_ you. This whole situation sucks and it must have sucked a thousand times worse for you. I just wish you would have let me in. I want to be here for you Michael.”

Michael was sucking in deep breaths trying to ground himself from his outburst.

  

“I never wanted you to get hurt,” Michael choked out.

  

“I’m the one who's supposed to be saying that to you,” Jeremy chuckled. “I wouldn’t know how to keep breathing if something ever happened to you.”

 

Jeremy held Michael as they sat on the bed, Michael breathing in the comforting smell of vanilla on Jeremy’s cardigan. Jeremy ran his hands through Michael’s hair as the smaller boy began to relax in his arms. Within minutes both boys had fallen asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ... don't hate me, I promise i love Michael so much and i dont want him to keep getting hurt.


	38. A Weight Off My Chest

Jeremy was the first to wake up. He felt very refreshed after his little snooze; he normally felt worse for wear after a midday nap. His chest felt warm and weighted; it was nice.   
   
He didn’t realize what it was until he tried to sit up and found a sleeping Michael nuzzled into his chest. The shorter boy had taken refuge in the crook of Jeremy’s arm. His body was curled around Jeremy’s torso, embracing the warmth it gave off. Jeremy gazed at the boy laying on top of him, the way his glasses were crooked on his face, the way he sniffled in his sleep, the calm that hadn’t been there for months. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Jeremy blushed.  
   
He liked seeing Michael like this, and after their last conversation, the least Jeremy could do would be to let Michael sleep a little longer. Hopefully they could talk about things when they were both awake. So he laid his head back down, and matched the slow breathing of the boy next to him.  
   
Michael woke up a little while later, digging into the blanket below him for more warmth.   
   
“Hey, you’re up.” Jeremy said, startling Michael a little bit.   
   
“Uh, how long have you been awake?”  
   
Jeremy glanced over at his alarm clock, “Not long, maybe 20 minutes.” Michael sat up to let Jeremy out from under him. He leaned back against the wall, taking a layer of blankets with him. He shivered at the loss of warmth that was Jeremy.  
   
“How do you feel?” Jeremy asked cautiously.   

“Alright I guess.” Michael responded timidly. 

Jeremy stood from the bed, stretching up until he felt the satisfying release of his back muscles.   
   
“I’m sorry if I upset you earlier, what I said just came out all wrong.”   
   
Michael nodded at Jeremy’s apology, “It’s alright. We both got a little carried away I guess.”   
   
Jeremy sat back on the bed and leaned against the wall near Michael, “You had something earlier, something you were gonna tell me before all of this.” 

Michael leaned over and grabbed the paper off the edge of the bed and un-crumpled it. “Well it’s pretty much the same things I told Christine, but there’s a couple extra things.”   
   
Jeremy turned to face Michael, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to hear it.” 

Michael nodded, (Why couldn’t it have gone this way the first time.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and Kudos because I'm sad (my mother and i are not talking to each other.)


	39. I Am Damaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE see the bottom for an important note.

Jeremy came back in the room with two bottles of water, and sat back down on the bed. Michael took a few sips of his before he started talking.

 

“Alright, so you probably figured most of this out yourself, but I’ll run through the important stuff.”

 

Jeremy nodded, choosing to let Michael tell his story.

 

“In September, I found out I was pregnant.”

 

Jeremy still couldn’t believe his best friend had been pregnant.

 

“So you probably already knew it was with Adam, and it was before school started.”

 

Jeremy nodded

 

“I found out the first week of school, after we went to the mall; remember?” “I tried to tell you at school the next week, but you weren’t listening because of-”

 

“The squip,” Jeremy interjected.

 

“Yeah”

 

Jeremy looked down at his bottle of water, spinning it in his hands, “And Jake’s Halloween party?”

 

“That was why I was at the hospital,” Michael sighed.

 

Jeremy placed a reassuring hand on Michael’s leg.

 

“So now you know and Christine knows, and, well my moms already knew. And I plan on telling the others, I’m just not ready yet.”

 

“When did you tell Christine?” Jeremy asked.

 

“A couple days ago, the day after you came to my house.”

 

Jeremy cringed thinking back to that day; he had been so confused.

 

Michael’s slight chuckle caught Jeremy off guard, “What’s so funny?” he asked.

 

Michael whined slightly under his breath, “C-Christine actually asked if you were the father.”

Jeremy’s whole face went cherry red, which only made Michael laugh harder.

 

“I know right. I mean that’s some Jerry Springer type shit. ‘On this episode, my boyfriend and his best friend Michael Mell, and their secret love child.’” Michael wheezed at his last statement.

 

Jeremy put on his most serious face to address the giggling boy, “Michael, Christine isn’t my girlfriend anymore. We broke up.”

 

Michael couldn’t tell at first if Jeremy was trying to be funny or not, but when he realized it was the latter, his demeanor changed.

 

“When? What happened?” Jeremy had been idolizing Christine since freshman year; what could have possibly happened to make them break up?

 

“Um it was about a month ago, before winter break. Everything’s fine and we’re still friends; but I told her that there was someone else I liked more.”

 

“Oh,” Michael replied; he was a little uncomfortable not knowing that so much had changed; but hey, he had his own problems to deal with.

 

“It’s you,” Jeremy said under his breath.

 

“What?” Michael asked. He didn’t hear that right, did he?

 

“It was you Michael. I needed to be with you. I’m in like you. That’s why I came over that day, I wanted to tell you that I love you, but then all this happened.”

 

“Oh,” Michael blushed.

 

“Yeah” Jeremy remarked to the boy sitting across from him. Both of them had warm blush across their faces.

 

“Well, I don’t know how you feel now, after all of this; I mean I am damaged.” Michael said.

 

Jeremy just stared at the boy before him. “Michael, this does not make you damaged, this makes you strong and brave and even more beautiful to me.”

 

“Oh, well… I love you too, and I have for a while; I was just worried that if I told you, it would ruin our friendship.”

 

Jeremy leaned over on the bed, closing the distance between the two, placing a soft kiss onto Michael’s lips. “That will never happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, the boys expressed their feeling :D I'm a proud momma
> 
> So, I just wanted to point out to everyone that this story is 50 chapters, that being said, chapters 41-50 are epilogue chapters but i REALLY encourage that you read them (especially if you are into fluff cause there is a ton of it.) Thank you all for sticking with this story so far... you are about to be rewarded ;)
> 
> Comment and Kudos so I can quit my day job (jk)


	40. Player 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM! a 900 word chapter. Enjoy it.
> 
> Read the end notes for more important information

_*9 months later*_

 

Connie knocked on her son’s bedroom door, “Michael, can I come in?”

 

“Yeah, come in,” Michael replied.

 

Michael’s moms did their best to notice when Michael was falling into one of his depressive moods. A whole year had passed, and Michael was getting better. Michael went back to school in January, once winter break was over. After the squip squad learned about what had actually happened, they were very supportive of Michael and were even able to convince him to start seeing a therapist.

 

Michael’s mothers were so grateful that their son had such a great group of friends to support him. That being said, Michael still had his off days, but sometimes it would be something big, like the whole month of April had been. Michael’s depression got really bad for a while. It took the group longer than they would like to admit to realize why Michael was so down lately… April was supposed to be Michael’s due date. The group did their best to be extra cautious around this time. Sometimes, however, certain fights were just unavoidable. Jeremy and Michael had done the majority of the fighting in April; Jeremy just wanted to be there for his boyfriend, but Michael wanted to be left alone. It was a dark time; but they eventually made it through it.

 

Everyone just hoped that this wasn’t going to be worse than April had.

 

It was Halloween afternoon and Michael had been cooped up in his room all day, not even coming out to eat.

 

“Michael, you have some visitors downstairs if you feel up to it.”

 

Michael nodded and put on the first clothes that were remotely clean.

 

Michael was met downstairs by Christine, Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna.

 

“What are you all doing here? Isn’t there a party tonight?” Michael asked.

 

“Yeah, there is. But we actually have something even better to go to.” Brooke said.  
  
“Look, I’m not really feeling up for a party right now. So if ...”

 

“Just, come outside for a second, please.” Christine looked Michael in the eyes. Her caring gaze gained his trust instantaneously.

 

As they made their way to the backyard, they could hear other voices out back. They finally arrived to the backyard to find Rich, Jake, and Jeremy setting up a table with markers, balloons, and a helium tank.

 

“What is all this?” Michael asked.

 

“We decided to do a balloon release today instead of going to any parties.” Jake said.

 

Michael looked around for maybe some clue as to what a balloon release implied.

 

“Basically you write messages on a balloon to a loved one who is no longer with you.” Jenna answered the question for him.

 

“It was Jeremy’s idea” Rich said, trying his best to not let the helium escape his lungs. Jake snickered at how high his boyfriend’s voice got.

 

“You guys really didn’t have to do this, you’re missing out on the last Halloween party of high school.”

 

“Michael, you are so much more important to us than some party could ever be.” Jeremy said, walking over to his boyfriend, kissing him on the forehead.

 

The gang spent the next hour writing messages on balloons.

 

Jeremy - “To Player 3, Your father loved you so much; I hope he knows that you were loved so much by everyone.”

 

Christine - “Praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear. - William Shakespeare.”

 

Rich - “Uncle Rich would have given you tips on how to get with the ladies (and the dudes) but don’t tell your dad I said that.”

 

Jake - “My parents were never around for me, but it’s easy to see you have got one of the best men I’ve ever known as your dad.”

 

Chloe - “You weren’t here long, but you managed to bring us all closer together; so thank you for that.”

 

Brooke – Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. – Vicki Harrison

 

Jenna - “Because of you, Michael will always have an angel by his side.”

 

Sam - “Mahal Kita Apo”

 

Connie – “It never gets any easier to live without those we have lost.”

 

Michael - “Even though you were not planned, I still loved you. Even though made me cry, I still loved you. Even when it was hard to hide, I still loved you. Even when you hurt me, I still loved you. And even when you left me, I still loved you. My love for you never left, even after _you_ did _._ I wanted so much for you, and I am sad that I’ll never be able to give you the things I wanted to. But even though I’m sad, I still love you. You will always be my first real love. You took a piece of me when you left, and I couldn’t be happier, because that means you will never be alone up there. Wish I could have met you, wish I could have held you, wish I could have sung you fast asleep. Until that day comes when I can hold you in my arms, know that I will love you forever. - Your dad, Michael.”

 

And as he watched white balloons flood the skies, Michael sat in the presence of all his family and friends, and was truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY FOR 10 CHAPTERS OF COMPLETE FLUFFY STUFF.
> 
> So the epilogue chapters are still based on this storyline so if you enjoyed the story so far, please keep reading.
> 
> Since this is the last chapter before epilogue... tell me what your favorite part has been so far (i love hearing from you guys... you need to comment more)


	41. Guys Like Us Are Cool In College

“Come on Michael, can’t we just set up the bed and the TV; we can do the rest tomorrow.”

 

“No way babe, if we don’t start unpacking now we will never get out of these boxes.”

 

It was March of the boy’s senior year of college, only a couple more months and they would both have their diplomas. They had both been extremely fortunate to go to college together. Even though they were not majoring in similar areas, they could at least dorm together. They had just recently decided that the dorms were too young of a crowd and chose to get their first apartment together. It was a big step for both of them.

 

Jeremy was double majoring in criminal justice and theatre; Michael was majoring in computer animation and minoring in psychology. There was a light at the end of the tunnel; soon the boys would be out in the world as productive adults. Until then, however, Jeremy continued to whine as they unpacked boxes into their new apartment.

 

“How did we even manage to have all this stuff in our dorm?” Jeremy questioned as he flopped on the mattress next to Michael.

 

“Come on, one more box each and then we can go out for dinner.” Dinner dates had been on hold lately because of the stress of upcoming finals. When one wanted to eat, the other wanted to study, and when one was done studying and wanted to eat, the other didn’t feel like eating. Senior year on top of moving had left them a mess, but they were getting through it.

 

Jeremy let out a content sigh as his boyfriend kissed his cheek before dragging him into a sitting position on the bed.

 

Michael picked up two boxes and placed them on the bed, “You open this one.”

 

“Fine” Jeremy groaned, picking up a knife carefully to cut the tape on the box. He started pulling out kitchen appliances: Rice cooker, toaster, coffee maker; but then, he saw a small gift bag. It was red with blue tissue paper, on the front it read: To my Player 1.

 

“Michael… what is this?”

 

Michael simply shrugged, “Guess you’ll have to open it to find out.”

 

Jeremy cautiously pulled out layers of tissue paper before his hands met something soft.

 

What he pulled out was a heather gray onesie with a yellow Pacman in the center.

 

“Michael...?”

 

“There’s more,” was all Michael added.

 

Jeremy rapidly dug back into the gift bag until he found what he was looking for. There, in a Ziploc bag, was a pregnancy test.

 

Jeremy stared at Michael who was slightly blushing by this point, smiling sheepishly.

 

“Now I know it wasn’t planned, and it’s only 8 weeks so I’m still not technically out of the woo…”

 

Jeremy tackled Michael into the bed, peppering him with kisses. Michael just laughed as he kissed his more ticklish areas.

 

Jeremy lingered at Michael’s stomach, rolling up his shirt, “Hi there baby. I’m your dad.”

 

“Oh my god” Michael laughed as he chucked the nearest pillow at Jeremy’s head.

 

The boys laid cuddled on the bed, Jeremy’s hand protectively splayed across Michael’s stomach. They never went out for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D COMMENT... what do you think


	42. A Toast!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight dysphoria in this chapter (nothing too severe)

The big day had finally come, it was graduation day. Everything was coming together: classes were done, finals had been passed, all that was left to do now was walk down the stage and receive their diplomas.

 

Jeremy and Michael were currently getting ready at their apartment for the graduation ceremony in a couple hours.

 

Jeremy had gotten ready quite fast, he kept his outfit fairly simple; white button up with navy slacks. He wasn’t too concerned with his outfit; they would be wearing a cap and gown for the ceremony anyway. The outfit underneath was mainly for dinner with friends afterward.

 

Michael on the other hand was having trouble.

 

Jeremy knocked on the bedroom door, “Micah, we got to get going soon if we want to get photos with the rest of the class.”

 

Upon opening the door, he found Michael sprawled out on their bed, surrounded by an avalanche of shirts. “Nothing fits.” he groaned.

 

Jeremy gave a small chuckle at how pathetic his boyfriend looked right now.

 

“I have an idea” Jeremy said, rummaging through the pile of shirts until he found the short sleeved black shirt he had been looking for. He tossed the shirt to the shorter boy, “Put this on.”

 

Michael grumbled, peeled off the blue shirt he was currently in and began re-dressing. Now that he was 15 weeks along, there was definitely a noticeable bump under his shirt. Both the boy’s parents knew Michael was pregnant; they had told them after the first ultrasound, but they hadn’t told any of the squip squad yet. They wanted to surprise them all tonight at dinner.

 

Michael huffed as he took in his reflection. He was very insecure about his changing body. The lack of binder made him cringe. One day Michael was flat as a board, and the next day… he had just popped. Jeremy did his best to tell him how beautiful he was every day; but he knew that Michael wouldn’t be confident in his body again until he was back to his normal.

 

Jeremy walked back into the room, carrying a charcoal blazer in his hands. “You can wear this to dinner if you want.” Jeremy helped Michael get the blazer on and stood beside him, taking in the image before him. The bump was still there, but the blazer had definitely helped conceal it.

 

“Love you; You look great” Jeremy responded, tilting Michael’s chin up to give him a kiss.

 

“Thanks Miah. Love you too.” Michael responded.

 

The ceremony went off without a hitch and soon enough they were saying their goodbyes to parents before being dragged off by their friends.

 

The whole gang had been able to make it to dinner after the ceremony. The boys had chosen a small Italian place, mainly because Michael was craving pasta, but also because it was not too far of a drive for anyone going.

 

The group continued chatting and eating until a waiter came around the table, holding a bottle of champagne.

 

“Yes, that one is perfect,” Christine commented.

 

“Fuck, Christine! That bottle looks expensive.” Jake commented.  
  
“It’s fine guys, my treat! Besides, how often do we get to celebrate two of our friends graduating college.”

 

The waiter made his rounds amongst the table, filling everyone’s glass with champagne.

 

“None for me. Thanks” Michael chimed, covering his glass with his hand.

 

“Michael, just have one glass with us” Chloe yelled across the table.

 

“U-um guys?” Jeremy started before being interrupted by Rich.

 

“Live a little Mell” Rich said, fist pumping the air.

 

“GUYS!” Michael yelled, which caught everyone at the tables attention. “I can’t have any because I’m pregnant.”

 

The table went silent for a second before it suddenly filled with cheers as Christine ran to hug Michael, while Rich got up to hug Jeremy, and Jake settled for whistling and hollering, which made Jeremy blush furiously.

 

“Well then, I guess we have even more congratulations now.” Jenna said and she raised her glass to toast, the rest clinking their drinks with Michael’s water glass. He really did have an amazing group of friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for the dinner scene came from an episode of greys anatomy
> 
> Today and tomorrow will have weird posting times... sorry in advance.
> 
> Comment and Kudos <3


	43. Stir Fry and Scares

DING DONG!

 

“I’ll get it” Jeremy yelled as he ran to the door.

 

Mr. Heere was standing at the door with a bottle of white wine and pint of sorbet.

 

“Hey dad” Jeremy hugged his father, “Come in.”

 

Jeremy and Mr. Heere made their way to the kitchen where Michael and his mothers were working on dinner.

 

“Hey Mr. Heere, perfect timing. Dinner will be ready any minute.” Michael said as he finished cutting green onions for their stir fry.

 

Jeremy put the sorbet into the freezer, then made himself a plate and went to sit down with their family.

 

Once every couple of weeks, the Heere’s and the Mell’s would get together for a family dinner.

 

“Everything smells delicious” Connie said as she poured herself a glass of wine.

 

They all dug into their dinners and made their normal family conversation.

 

“So Michael, Jeremy, any new pictures of my future grandchild?” Mr. Heere asked.

 

“No new ones yet, I don’t go back until June 29th.” Michael said in between bites of stir fry.

 

“How have you been feeling otherwise?” Connie asked.

 

“Pretty good actually. Although I will say this bean has some of the weirdest taste in foods.”  
  
“I remember those days.” Sam announced.

 

“Carol fit that stereotype of eating pickles and ice cream when she was pregnant with Jeremy.” Mr. Heere added.

 

“Michael made me go out for Taco Bell at 4 in the morning yesterday.” Jeremy said, gesturing at the boy sitting across from him who shot him a murderous look.

 

The whole table burst into laughter.

 

“Let me get the dishes for you” Jeremy stated

 

“I’ll help too,” Michael said as he stood from his chair and began picking up empty plates and utensils. Suddenly he dropped his stack of plates on the dining table with a loud clang. His eyes went wide as saucers. His gaze darted to Jeremy, who was at his side in no time.

 

“Michael, what’s wrong? What’s going on? Michael come on answ…”

 

“I felt a kick.” Michael practically giggled as he looked up at Jeremy.

 

“No way! Michael, that’s amazing!” Jeremy shouted, relieved there wasn’t anything wrong.

 

Michael grabbed Jeremy’s hand and guided it to the spot on his lower stomach where he had felt the movement before.

 

As if on cue, the tiniest foot made contact with the warm hand placed above it.

Jeremy let out a tiny gasp as he looked up at Michael who was beaming.

 

The rest of the night consisted of everyone sitting on the couch trying to feel for kicks and punches. They completely forgot to eat their sorbet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all the comments from you my lovelies


	44. Unnerving Ultrasounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad this story is almost over... but I'm thinking i might write more stories in the future.  
> Also see the end notes for a quick poll.

Even though he was nearing the end of his second trimester, Michael still dreaded going to the doctor. The doctor reassured him at his three month ultrasound that everything looked fine, then at four, then at five, and now at his 24-week checkup she would have to reassure him again. It didn’t matter though; he just wouldn’t feel calm until he heard that heartbeat again.

 

Michael sat in the waiting room, leg nervously bouncing from his chair. A warm hand was placed on his thigh.

 

Jeremy looked at Michael, knowing all too well how nervous he was, “It’s gonna be fine,” he tried to reassure.

 

“Mell” the nurse called from the counter.

 

Jeremy leapt out of his chair, as did Michael, although a little less agile.

 

They made their way back to the room the nurse pointed to.

 

Michael sat on the table and began to roll his shirt up.

 

“Good morning Michael and Jeremy.” the doctor addressed as she walked into the room.

 

Jeremy stood and shook hands with the doctor. Michael gave her a smile from where he was currently laying.

 

She spent a good amount of time asking Michael how he was feeling and if anything significant had happened since last month. Once she was done with that, she began prepping for the ultrasound.

 

“Are you guys ready to see the baby again?” She began the ultrasound, applying some gel to the wand before spreading it around, eyes focused on the monitor. The sound of a heartbeat sung through the room. She stopped on a particular spot and typed in a couple measurements before addressing the boys, “There’s the baby, heartbeat is 140; everything is looking great; right on track.”

 

While he knew these appointments made Michael anxious, Jeremy couldn’t hide how much he loved them; especially since the first time he heard the heartbeat. He made sure to be at every appointment. He stared at the screen, taking in every movement of their baby, their perfectly healthy baby. Now that they were 6 months in, their baby started to look less like a bean and more like an actual person.

 

“So you both still don’t want to know the sex of the baby?” the doctor asked.

 

“Not yet, our friend Christine came in and got the results from our last appointment. She wants to throw a gender reveal party in a few weeks.” Michael said as he wiped the leftover gel off of his stomach.

 

“Well, everything is looking right where it should be. You have nothing to worry about.”

Jeremy gave the doctor a thankful grin, knowing her words would calm Michael down at least for a little while.

 

“I will see you again for your 30-week checkup” She said as she followed them out the door and back to the front desk.

 

“You ready?” Jeremy said, fishing car keys out of his jeans.

 

“Yep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tomorrows chapter is the big gender reveal!!!... PLACE YOUR GUESSES BELOW (it's already been decided, i just wanna know what you guys think it is.)


	45. It's A ..... ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time has come.

Christine had planned this gender reveal/ baby shower down to the smallest detail; that’s what a good godmother does after all right? She decided to go for a rainbow party theme, mainly because of the research she had done on “rainbow babies.” There were rainbow balloons throughout the park, lots and lots of streamers, and a 2-tiered rainbow cake, which Christine was most proud of. Michael made an overwhelming amount of jokes about how it “Looked like the definition of a ‘gay baby shower’ with all the rainbows” but he secretly loved it and the meaning behind it.

 

The party itself was relatively small, just the squip squad, Mr. Heere, and Michael’s moms.

 

Everyone showed up, bringing in their presents before the party actually started. There was lots of food, music, and the boys even humored Christine by playing a few baby shower games. Jeremy and Rich had gotten a little too competitive in the last round, so Christine decided to move on to the next event.

 

The gang was spread out throughout the park. Jake had dragged Rich to the swing set and forced his boyfriend to push him. Christine had taken Jenna somewhere to help prep for the main event. Michael was surrounded by his moms, and Chloe. Brooke was kneeling beside Michael, seeing if she could feel a kick. Jeremy had taken his dad around the corner to show him where the bathrooms were.

 

Once everybody had come back to the main area Christine began to speak, “Alright everybody gather round. It’s finally time to find out if Jeremy and Michael are having a boy or a girl!”

 

Everyone gathered around to the tree Christine was yelling under.

 

Everyone had given there guesses beforehand: 4 said girl, 6 said boy, and Rich swore it had to be twins (he guessed a girl and boy.)  

 

Christine pulled a huge rainbow colored box out behind the tree, “Okay, so the box has either pink balloons inside for a girl or blue balloons for a boy.”

 

Michael and Jeremy switched places with Christine next to the box.

 

“You ready?” Jeremy asked.

 

“Are you?” Michael teased right back.

 

Jeremy and Michael disagreed on what they thought the baby was gonna be. Jeremy thought it was a boy, and Michael thought it was a girl.

 

Then the group began to count down

 

_5_

_._

_._

_._

_4_

_._

_._

_._

_3_

_._

_._

_._

_2_

_._

_._

_._

_1!!!_

 

They opened the box and were met with an eruption of blue balloons flooding out of the box.

 

“IT’S A BOY!” Everyone under the tree cheered.

 

Michael jumped with excitement, wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s neck, pulling him into a deep kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo so now we all know... it's a boy.  
> I had this planned from the beginning so don't worry if you got it wrong.
> 
> For those of you who don't know the history behind "rainbow babies" they are babies that are born after a miscarriage or a stillbirth. I love the concept and am so glad i was able to include it in this story.
> 
> Leave comments and kudos


	46. Fuck You Jeremy Heere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit balls... we almost hit 2,000 views :D

Michael walked down the halls of their apartment looking for Jeremy. He had just woken up from a nap on the couch and noticed his boyfriend’s shoes next to the front door, meaning he must be home from work.

 

He peered into their bedroom, not seeing Jeremy, when he heard a noise from across the hall. Michael smiled and made his way to the only other room Jeremy could be in, the nursery.

 

Leaning against the doorframe, Michael took in the sight of his boyfriend on the ground, attempting to put the crib together.

 

“Need any help?” Michael asked sarcastically.

 

“I’d like to see you even try to get on the floor and help me right now.” Jeremy laughed as he fiddled with some screws.

 

“Ow, my pride,” Michael laughed placing a hand on his belly. He walked over to the rocking chair that they set in the corner and lowered himself into it.

 

They had gone for a Pacman themed nursery. The walls were painted a dark navy color except for the accent wall, which was painted with a classic dot maze. They had placed a couple of their old retro game consoles on the bookshelf in the corner, a couple plush ghosts and other toys. They had a bright yellow rug to add cushion to the hardwood floors. The crib was white and had navy sheets inside. The last thing they had added was a mobile they had made themselves. It had Pacman, a blue ghost, a red ghost, a dot, and a cherry.

 

“Can you believe that there will be a baby in here in 6 weeks.” Jeremy said, looking up at Michael.

 

Michael hummed back a response, comfortable with the rocking rhythm he had managed to achieve. His hands were placed on his stomach, feeling the flurry of kicks beneath.

 

“We’re gonna be dads Michael, like holy shit!” Jeremy chuckled.

 

“Shhh… no swearing in front of the baby,” Michael said, jokingly holding a finger up to his lips.

 

“You hungry?” Jeremy asked, thoroughly annoyed with the crib. He could finish it later.

 

“Do you even have to ask that anymore?” he chuckled.

 

Jeremy stood up and started to the door when he heard a huff behind him.

 

He turned around to see Michael trying, and failing to get out of his chair, clearly out of breath.

 

Jeremy couldn’t contain his laughter as he doubled over, cracking up at the sight before him.

 

“Fuck you Jeremy Heere! You did this to me you bastard!”

 

Jeremy held out his arm to Michael who graciously took it, “What happened to no swearing in front of the baby.”

 

Michael just responded by flipping Jeremy off as they left the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta go to work soon :(
> 
> Leave comments so i have something to look forward to during my lunch break. :)


	47. Change of Plans Part 1

The bar was a little too crowded to be comfortable for either of the boys. The plan had initially been for Jeremy and Michael to stay home and order in food. They had doing that a lot more lately, especially with Michael’s due date less than a month away. Plans however change. They got the call around 8:00 from a screaming Rich that Jake had finally popped the question. They were throwing an impromptu engagement party at one of the local restaurant to celebrate.

 

“Are you sure you feel okay to go; because we can totally cancel if you don’t feel up to it.” Jeremy asked, nervously dotting over his boyfriend as he got ready.

 

As Michael’s due date quickly approached, Jeremy became extremely anxious; every huff or moan from Michael would send warning sirens through his head.

 

“I’ll be fine. Do you know how long I have been waiting for those two to get engaged... we’re going” Michael replied, currently out of breath from trying to put on his shoes.

 

“Alright, but only a few hours, then it’s straight to bed,” Jeremy said as he helped Michael with his other shoe.

 

Michael had to laugh at Jeremy’s attempts at authority; this kid was going to get away with everything if his dads were left in charge.

 

The party was a lot bigger than either of them had thought, Rich and Jake sure knew a lot of people.

 

They made their way through the restaurant until they spotted who they were looking for.

 

“You finally found the balls to make him your man!” Jeremy shouted across the room.

 

Rich and Jake both turned to see where the sound came from. Both of the boys were dressed sharply. Rich was wearing jeans and a burgundy leather jacket, while Jake was wearing a suit he probably came in from the office. Jake was an attorney for men and women under the A.D.A., and Rich had become a social worker to underprivileged youths. They had done well for themselves and were definitely the power couple of the bunch.

 

“Jeremy! Michael! Glad you could make it” Jake walked over and clapped Jeremy on the back.

 

“We wouldn’t miss it.” Michael added.

 

Rich excused himself from the conversation he was in and made his way over to his friends and fiancé.

 

“Still haven’t popped yet huh Mell?” Rich joked, closing in to hug the boys.

 

“Not yet, but soon.” Michael huffed, attempting to lean down to hug Rich.

 

“I still think it must be twins. You are huge dude!” Rich taunted, making grand gestures around Michael’s stomach.

 

Michael nervously laughed at Rich’s antics, “You get used to it I guess.”

 

The boys made small talk before Jake reminded Rich that they had other guests to greet.

 

“MICHAEL!” Christine screamed the moment she saw him. She ran up to the boy, bringing him into a hug as he stumbled to regain his balance.

 

It was about an hour later; Jeremy had begun talking to Connor, one of Jake’s friends that he knew from a forensics class he took in college. Christine and Michael had found a standing table. They grabbed a couple appetizers, and began talking about one of Christine’s latest callbacks.

 

Michael felt exhausted. One of the many positives of his job was he could work from home during the last month, but that just meant he wasn’t used to doing this much standing. His back was killing him; his feet were swollen in his shoes, his stomach felt oddly tight. He swayed on his feet from side to side, hoping that the pain would dull.

 

“Are you okay Michael?” Christine asked, realizing that Michael had stopped engaging in conversation.

 

Michael’s head felt a little fuzzy, but he started to realize why he felt so shitty. “I’m alright… But do you think you could go find Jeremy for me.”

 

“Of course, stay right here.” Christine left to go find Jeremy.

 

Michaels back pain increased as he hissed through the pain, this one wrapping around his sides. He gripped onto the small table, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead.

 

Just as the pain subsided, Christine came rushing back with Jeremy who looked frantic to say the least.

 

“Michael, what’s wrong?” Jeremy took hold of Michael’s chin, meeting his gaze to make sure the other was alright.

 

“Nothing’s wrong Jeremy. I just think we may need to get going to the hospital.” a sheepish grin spread across the boy’s face.

 

“Really?” Jeremy’s face lit up

 

“Yeah” Michael seethed, squeezing Jeremy’s hand as his sides began to tighten again, “I think it might be time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly i'd like to thank all of you who made it this far into the story, Im glad you stuck it out.
> 
> I'm a little sad that the story is ending in a few days. I think i may write another story (not sure yet)  
> Would you guys be interested in more of my writing??
> 
> Also, YAY some richjake FINALLY 
> 
> Comment and Kudos


	48. Change of Plans Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> Im sorry i didn't post a chapter yesterday... but i kind of have a reason.
> 
> So to make a long story short... i was in a car crash yesterday.  
> I'm fine, just really sore, so i decided yesterday that i was just gonna rest.
> 
> Anyway, i hope this chapter makes up for it, sorry again,... enjoy :)
> 
> ALSO... WE HIT 2000 VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy ran out of the restaurant to go pull the car around. Christine stayed with Michael. She took his hand as he began to tense up.

 

“You’re doing great.” she encouraged. He gave her a wavy smile as she continued to distract him.

 

Jeremy came running back into the restaurant, “Alright, car is up front. You ready?”

 

Michael nodded, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

 

“Christine, when you see Rich or Jake, tell them I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.” Michael said as Jeremy practically dragged him out of the restaurant.

 

“Don’t worry about them. Good luck you two. Keep us updated.” She yelled at them from the entrance.

 

Jeremy began to speed out of the parking lot.

 

“Jeremy, relax. I’m fine. All we have to do is stop by the apartment to grab our bags, then we can head out. Okay?”

 

“Okay.” Jeremy felt that of all the people involved right now, Michael should not be the one calming his nerves.

 

Jeremy pulled into their parking spot just as Michael’s contraction began to peak. He sat in the car, rubbing the smaller boy’s back as he breathed through the worst of it.

 

Jeremy put the car in park, “Alright, so the bags are all packed, right?”

 

“Yeah, just grab my IPod and headphones. They should be on the nightstand.”

 

“Got it.” Jeremy jumped out of the car and flew up the steps two at a time.

 

They made it to the hospital in about 30 minutes. Jeremy grabbed the bags then made his way to Michael’s door to help him out. As they were being checked into a room, their doctor walked by.

 

“Michael Mell, I wasn’t supposed to be seeing you for another three weeks?”

 

Michael just chuckled as she hugged him, “Guess there was a change of plans.”

 

________________________Heere is a line to show that time has passed________________________

 

A few hours after they checked in, Michael and Jeremy were walking around the hospital floor. Michael was at a five, halfway there, so he was still aloud to leave his hospital room, and planned to take advantage of that for as long as he could. Michael was on the phone with his moms, telling them what was happening and that they shouldn’t leave for the hospital for at least a few more hours. They of course didn’t plan to listen and he could hear them making for the door as they spoke.

 

Michael hung up the phone and sighed. Jeremy chuckled as he walked hand in hand with Michael.

 

Michael slowed to a stop as he felt his stomach begin to tighten again. Jeremy stood in front of him and offered his other hand. Michael swayed and hummed in Jeremy’s arms until a small gasp escaped his lungs.

 

Jeremy looked down at the shorter boy who was an incredible shade of red.

 

“Michael… are you alright?” Jeremy asked, slightly confused.

 

Michael looked up, still blushing furiously, “Um, yeah… but um… I think my water broke.”

 

Jeremy looked down at Michael’s pants which had a small wet spot on them. He placed a reassuring hand on a clearly embarrassed Michael’s shoulder, spun him around, and began making their way back to the room. So much for walking.

 

________________________Heere is a line to show that time has passed________________________

 

After about 6 hours at the hospital, Michael was at an eight. He had decided to avoid pain meds as long as he could. Michael had no problem with pain meds, he simply did not want to take anything that might have an effect on the baby. All things considered, he was doing remarkably well for a first timer. Michael was currently leaning into Jeremy’s body, rocking back and forth.

 

“You’re doing great babe. Only a couple more hours and he’ll be here.”

 

Michael groaned louder as his contraction peaked, grateful that Jeremy was there to help hold him up.

 

________________________Heere is a line to show that time has passed________________________

 

4 hours later and he was still only at a nine, but things were beginning to take a toll on Michael.

 

He was back in bed, on his elbows and knees, his hands entwined with Jeremys as he grunted through the worst pain so far.

 

“I can’t do this Jeremy!” he cried out, simultaneously trying to catch his breath.

 

“Yes you can Micah.” Jeremy coached. “He’s coming. He’s almost here, just a little longer.”

 

Jeremy softly kissed Michael, who pulled back, bracing himself as another contraction rippled through his body.

 

“Oh God. It hurts too much. Make it stop! PLEASE!” Michael was curling in over his stomach.

 

“Michael Mell, you listen to me. You are one of the strongest people I know. I know it hurts, but you are doing so well. You are amazing for having our baby and I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too,” Michael whispered back.

 

Michael was blowing deep breaths through hollowed cheeks before there was a knock at the door and their doctor walked into the room. “Alright Michael, I think it’s time to have this baby.”

 

________________________Heere is a line to show that time has passed________________________

 

An hour later and the room they were in was filled with loud cries.

 

Shia Anthony Mell- Heere was born at 7:52 AM on October 16. He weighed 9lb 4oz. He was a big baby with chubby leg rolls on top of leg rolls. He had fair skin and golden freckles that splattered across his chest and shoulders like Jeremy’s, but had tufts of Michael’s dark brown hair and eyes that glimmered the same chocolate brown as his.

 

He was absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of information about the name Shia Anthony.  
> Shia is Hebrew for "God is salvation"  
> I took the name Anthony from Michael's uncle Antonio (who i made up). Since Michael never knew his father, Antonio was the male role model Michael looked too.
> 
> Any who... WOOHOO he's finally here, thank you all for staying and enjoying the story. Only 2 more chapters... but i have decided to make additional stories based off of this storyline


	49. Everyone Meets the Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe tomorrow is the last chapter. Im so sad this is ending.  
> Thank you all for reading.   
> I do plan to make additional works so follow me or something if you want to be updated on new stories (it might be a little while cause i gotta come up with some ideas). If you have any suggestions of chapters you'd like to see; comment them below.

Everyone came to visit Michael, Jeremy, and Shia at the hospital later that day.

 

Michael’s moms were already in the waiting room with Mr. Heere before Shia was even born. After the commotion had calmed down a little in the delivery room, Jeremy went out to go get their parents.

 

Everyone cooed at the new bundle. Sam was getting pictures for Mr. Heere of himself, Jeremy, and Shia. Connie was talking with Michael.

 

Christine came next; she was so excited to meet her godson. Jeremy was holding the baby when Christine arrived and put the baby in her arms as soon as she stopped bouncing. She began singing him songs from her upcoming musical and he looked up at her. She sniffled trying not to cry on the baby.

 

“He’s so beautiful you guys.” Jeremy thanked her, and Michael nodded; clearly he was exhausted.

 

Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna stopped by quickly. Michael had fallen asleep and they were adamant that Jeremy not wake him up. They settled at getting to look at the baby from behind the glass for a little bit before leaving.

 

Rich and Jake showed up around 8pm. They walked into the new family’s little room. Jake was super excited to be there; he had always loved kids; Rich handed Michael a gift bag. Inside it contained a onesie that said “My daddies love me.” Michael was still very emotional and started crying at the sight of it. Jake made a comment about starting a family that made Rich fumble his words as he stared at Jake. They stayed there for only an hour until visitors had to leave.

 

Michael and Shia were discharged the following morning. Their little family was going home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and Kudos ya bish (just kidding o_o)


	50. One Happy Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all... OH MY FUCKING GOD! this story got over 100 views in 24 hours.  
> Thank you all so much for your support.
> 
> Please see the end notes for more about future stories

 

* _2 weeks later*_

 

“Jeremy are you almost ready?” Michael yelled from the kitchen as he threw one last bottle into their bag.

 

“Almost” he called out.

 

“We can’t be the last ones to show up to my mom’s house? You know that right?

 

Michael began walking back to the bedroom where his boyfriend was.

 

“Well they don’t have a choice do they? We have the guest of honor.”

 

Jeremy exited the bedroom. He was holding a sleeping Shia in his arms. He had dressed him in an orange striped onesie that made him look like a candy corn.

 

“Now both my boys look like a snack” Michael joked.

 

Jeremy wrapped his free arm around Michael and gave him a loving kiss, “Happy Halloween Michael.”

 

He placed Shia in his car seat and grabbed the diaper bag, “You ready?”

 

“Almost, just one more thing.” Michael turned around, a white balloon in his hand.

 

On their way to the car, they stopped by the park near their house. Michael looked at Jeremy and Shia, his family, his everything.

 

“Alright, 1… 2… 3.” And with that Michael let go of the white balloon.

 

On the balloon it read, “Hey there Player 3, another year has gone by and our family has grown by one more. You have a little brother now. We wanted to let you know that we love you so much and thank you for looking after our little family. Love - Michael, Jeremy, and Shia.”

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sad it's over... but i plan on doing little one-shots to further the storyline.
> 
> THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN
> 
> if you have any ideas or request of stuff you want to see in the future; please comment them below.
> 
> Once again for staying through this story... I'm so happy i actually published it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Even though I have completely written all 50 chapters... if you have any advice; i'd love to hear it... Any opinion can be used to improve :)


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